Dinner or Training?

Assalamualaikum W.B.T and Hi.

It's been so long since my last view on my Roda Coklat Blog. I realized I'm not so active writing a post as before, maybe since I stop writing my diary while in the meantime, I got Instagram. Hahaha. But today, here I am. Crawling back to my Roda Coklat blog with my messy mind. I can't bear alone in this thoughts. But I don't have someone to tell what's going on my mind either which not important and may sound irrelevent to be confused about. Thank god, I'm much comfortable in expressing myself through writing. Well, I'm not good in having conversation and speaker. I can be running out an idea to continue the conversation and I think I'm a boring person to talk to. Some rather look on their phone as I talking, honestly, that's broke my confidence to speaking longer. Ok, enough with the flowery introduction.^^

Last week, an announce had been made in our group class's whatsapp. There will be a dinner for PPK Pembuatan in two weeks. I bet it will be held on Saturday night, as common dinner night time would be held. I would love to go to the dinner. However, something was bothering me. Saturday night? Isn't that Taekwondo training class also on saturday night? I miss meeting my friends from the taekwondo class. However, this dinner will be my last dinner with PPKP. 

Well, I firstly joined last year PPKP dinner and I end up sitting at a table with my seniors because I didn't find and recognized my housemate during entering the hall. Although, I'm the only girl in that table, lucky, I know some of the seniors, some of them were my Fencing Club members and some I know during the MASUM  while the others are their friends. We get along just fine, and I fine with that. Maybe it would happen naturally to those who do sport activities together, they can just be sporting. Since in the Fencing Club, we often do some fun game together in group. I guess that's why I comfortable being around them.

The Taekwondo training class, it's not like I'm taking any belt upgrading this semester. I just enjoy doing the training with others members which quite good together. Kind of activities that releasing the study burdens on my shoulder even for a moment. This semester, the members are very sporting. I'm also meeting friends from our SUKIPT team. Memories~ At the meantime, I'm getting know some new friends too. Oh ya, most of them are my junior. Well, I ain't getting any younger, right? Hahaha. It's hard to meet friends around my age.

Today, was the last register name for the PPKP dinner, and I just din't take any action. As the time passing by, I relieved. I don't have to choose anymore. By the way, just a point from my view, I think, even if it makes me tired, I might just happier joining the Taekwondo training than joining the dinner. Maybe the presence of some precious members that make me happy? I think so too. Hahaha. Even though, I just know them from last semester in those short period of time, I'm more comfortable being around them. 

There something come to my mind as I was trying to figure out which one should I join,

"I should do the one that make me happy the most, 

the place that I should be is the place where my heart want to be presence."

Angau Story (Part 1)

Assalamualaikum Cintaa..

Hahahahak... asi ka intro begitu?? Lantak ar.. hahahaha

Starting from a few days ago, I'm having toothache due to my wisdom tooth. Despite all the pains, I received a lot of love and motivational words from my family and friends. Furthermore, I happen to meet my crush.. plural.. a few of them actually.. while several of them, are already belong to someone.. hahahaha, well, good for them.... anyways, yes, I met them either during my way to go to class, go to lunch, perform some event.. Things just happen that way, and I'm happy that I met them. hahaha

So, I'm coming soon to be 25 years old this year. Yet, I am single which also known as silent lover. However, I guess in this journey to 25 years old, I just let it go. Even, all these crush? Nothing so serious. After the 5 years of friendzone, moved on, I might just say, I not going to commit any crush on someone with seriously. Even I having a crush, I'm just go with the flow, because at the end, I know that, things would be end soon or later. So, just having fun with my life.

Somehow, when I starting to have crush on someone, unwanted the felt of jealousy is coming along. Lol hahaha. To end the jealousy thing, I need to stop having crush on him. So, that is the complexity in me. The safe way, I did was, just ignore. Even ignoring the facts that I like him. hahahaha.. Maybe this is why, I didn't say that I love him, because I'm not a lover. I just a girl who like people randomly.

To be continue...

Which One Better...

Assalamualaikum W.B.T. and Hi.

Alhamdulillah, still breathing up until this moment in January 2017. I had been quite busying ever since my semester 7 at UniMAP had started. My last paper for semester 7 was on 10 January 2017 and I went back home at Sabah on 14 January 2017. It's been a while, I haven't update my blog with my life stories. I guess, I was too busy living my life in the real life then. 

My love life was stirred up at the beginning of the semester, but then, I guess, I was too busy, got caught with endless of task with project and playing games; just to add some fun, until I decided to learn to let those feeling go off from me. However, at the end, I felt empty and lonely as the night goes deepen. There is nothing that I could have done to get rid those get me in the silent dark of nights. As the I awake, the routine goes on, I forget and try to be alive, then back home on the blue steel table, I stumbleupon my inner mood.

I decided to let go love out of my life for a while. Then, I realized there are a list of things that I loss together with love. I lose the feeling of seeing the beautiful of flower. How the flawless of whiteness on it's petals. 

There is no peace loving flowing through the sight of blue sky. The wind blew even telling me slowly, the lonely step I took, walking alone on the side road.

I kept playing my favorite song as if I might felt something that close to the feeling when I being with someone. But, nothing as same as the feeling I felt before. Somehow, I felt that how the lovely songs used to be so lovely were turned bitter. But I kept those playing anyways, so I won't hear the silent was screaming loudly and felt the loneliness lingering around me.

Up until this point, I wonder which one is better.

Be miserable in love or feeling empty and lonely...

Memory

Assalamualaikum w.b.t and Hai.

How are you? Fine. Thank you. hehehe

So this gonna be my short entry post. Its because I kind of lazy. Now, I am occupied with several subjects, Integrated Design Project, and Final Year Project. So, even when someone ask for my free time, I would say, 'Sorry, I'm busy.' Ok, that's a lie. Sorry, I lie. Don't be so serious bah. But sometimes, I really busy. Yes. So, its not totally a lie. It depends on the situation. I won't lie. Because I don't liars. Ok. Sometimes, I'm not busy but my mind is always busy. yes, that's right. Busy with the unrequited love, flashback memories, disappointments in life, happiness in life, success, failures, past, present, future, plan, anything. Hahahaha ok. behave.

So, let's see. I think it my best to write based on picture because I like pictures. Yes. Even when my friends went to holiday, all I ask is a picture. The most beautiful scene picture. It's beautiful. Have you ever feel happiness just by looking at beautiful pictures? have you? did you? I have. I did. hehehe

Date taken 5 May 2013. This my desk at home, kota belud.  

3 years ago. But recently, it doesn't appear as in the picture. Hahaha. This is when I was working as a cashier at GMART, KB. Trying to get a job with a diploma. Going through all the jobstreet web just to find a job vacancy. But who knows, I'm here now, at UniMAP in my final year, further study as product design engineering student. Well, I'm not that successful student, struggling to survive. hehehe. ok that 3 years ago..

Why talk about the past? Well, it's a part of my life, that shaped me today. 

I think I already did my best. It's okay. 

No need to blame anything.

*gambar si Haha juga la paling basar sana. hahaha*

First Roda Coklat Entry For 2016 Part 1

Assalamualaikum W.B.T. and Hai.

Hm.. Hai again. Lama sungguh nda menulis karangan personal di blog ni. Semenjak aku ada instagram lagi. Rasa awkward sekejap dengan blog sendiri. hahaha.

Before that, I had been wondering and curious during my freshie year as Product Design Engineering (PDE) student, why I don't find much about PDE student life in any blog. Now, I think I know the reason. There reason why I couldn't find a lot of entry about PDE student was, it because they are sooo busy with projects! hahaha. As for me, I'm already in semester 2, year 3. My close friend and those who follow up my blog entry would know, how long it been since I wrote my last entry and the gap between my entries. hehehe. A lot thing happen to me, family, love, crush, money, study, life, happy, sad, tears, jealous, angry, nasty, disappointment, feeling down,  hope, being used, being left, being ignore, failure, success. Which one you want to hear? hahahaha

As I entering my third year as PDE student, the first semester was hard, hard to me. I had to take 20 credit hours meanwhile my classmate only need to take around 17 credits hours. 

'Alaaa, beza 3 jam kredit je pun.' I guess this would crossed your mind. haaha

But for me, it was really hard and very challenging. 

Because of that 3 hour gap difference, I had class every friday, meanwhile almost all my classmate having their holiday starting from thursday evening, because they don't have class on Friday. 

Because of that 3 hour gap difference, I went home a bit late than the others. They would already sleeping after arrived at hostel, and have time to rest for any group project meeting during night. Meanwhile, I finished class on 6 pm or 7 pm, then quickly had to go the project meeting. 

Because of that 3 hour gap difference, I fall sleep easily at any blue chair that I can sat down at Pusat Pengajian Kejuruteraan Pembuatan. 

Because of that 3 hour gap difference, I walked to Dewan Kuliah for Statistic Class, 1 hour earlier, so that I can take time to nap before the class begin, because I really felt sleepy during statistic class. Statistic class is 2 times a week. One would end at 6 pm and the another one end at 7 pm, both of class would be held on Dewan Kuliah. 

Yes, my classmates already took Statistics during Year 2. It just me and a few friends that took statistics during semester 1 in third year. That was very hard and my messy year as student. If I not mistaken, we have 4 project, 4 lab subject which leads to several lab reports. 

For my feeling sake, I decided to do EPT 394 - Product Ergonomic and Safety project, alone. hahahaha. It supposed to have mock up and video. Actually I brought the trolley, just need a little adjustment but I refused to do it and decided not to submit it to the lecturer, I just sent him the video which I make ergonomic analysis by using CATIA. Luckly, I saw that Ergonomic application in the CATIA software. We never thought on how using the Ergonomic in the catia, but as I'm doing this project on my own, and I'm prepared to accept any consequences. I done the analysis and get the result, although I'm not sure that the correct way to set up the ergonomic analysis, but I made it. And that would be okay. Since we never learn about it, so I don't know whether it right or wrong. I just submit it. Alhamdulillah at final, I got C.

Talking about examination result, actually it wasn't a good result. A few days before study week, I got 

→ high fever

→unstable body temperature

→puke, 

→My head dizzy, even when I move my head on the pillow.

→My eyes were so sensitive to any kind of light. When I see the light, it cause me headache.

→As I sat down, I saw and feel my world spinning around.

I thought it was only for a moment, but it continue up until my second last exam paper. I just can watch my housemates study for their exam, while I was lying sick on my bed. My first paper, Applied Thermodynamics, I went to Klinik Pauh, got my medicine, late actually, but the lecturer let me in to take the exam. As I read the question, I just sighed. It took me 3 to 4 times reading the question just to understand what the first question wants. 'Ya Allah, this semester hit me pretty hard'.. I repeated myself saying that, as my tear would fall down, because I really can't answer the questions. Same goes to other subject.. I really try to study but, my head ache every time I force myself to read and to remember those. I call mother, telling her, that don't expect anything from me for this semester. I'm ruined. I remember her telling me, to just face these, with the tone that calming my worries. I'm sorry mother, I lacking a lot. Alhamdulillah, I slowly getting better when it comes to my second final exam. That's maybe I only got EPT 393 Eng. Product Design and EPT 394 Product Ergonomic and safety a passing grade. I told ya, other than this, my result are falling down. huhuhuhu

End of final exam, I slowly getting better and I was going for Taekwondo SUKIPT in Welter (62 kg - 67 kg) category  at Universiti Teknologi Malaysia, Skudai. As for my first training which started after the final exam finished, I almost puked outside the Thadza Futsal where we used to training Taekwondo. I nearly faint every training because my stamina was really low. When we jogging outside the Thadza Futsal, I always at the behind since I was the slowest in the team. I checked at the hospital with other team member, The doctor told me that I had low blood pressure. huhuhu. She gave me vitamins, medicine to increase the blood pressure, and energy drink. whoaaa.. Last semester was the first time, I received so much medicine. seriously.. Maybe because I was not really healthy, some of the members are appear to be slightly care or be sympathy to me. Ahaha, I don't know whether they were caring to me or just being sympathy to me. But at that moment, my worries gone a while, my moody mood were gone, my feeling down was vanishing away, I guess that what good teammates for, cheering up their teammates and caring to each other. There were too much to tell story about them, it wouldn't be enough in just one post, I want to tell more about them in other post. hehehe. So, to cut this post short, I got Silver medal in SUKIPT 2016 for Female Welter Category. I lose to Hamisah from MSU, she is a friend that I met during tournament at Langkawi 2014. hehehe.. Honestly, I was a little bit surprise to see her name at the game chart on the board.. hehehe. It was an honor to meet her in the game. Thanks for the memories Misa. :)

My Random Shape Felt Keychain

Assalamualaikum W.B.T.

Warning: Malay remix English remix Sabah slang.

*P*R*A*   *I*N*T*R*O*D*U*C*T*I*O*N*

Ehem... Batuk sikit mana la tau terkejut debu-debu kemalasan yang bersawang di blog ku ni. hahaha

Lama juga aku nda update blogku ni kan.. mau bilang sibuk, masa cuti semester hari tu, banyak juga masa kalau nak mengarang satu novel pun. Tapi yeah, that what happen, I didn't write once. It may due to the water problem that affect Cowboy Town or also known as Kota Belud. Memang sandi sungguh tiada air masa tu..dan salah satu kesan daripada ketiadaan air tu, masih berlarutan kesannya terhadap diriku ni. hm. Aku pasrah jak. Semoga cepat sembuh mal. Tapi disebabkan ketiadaan air tu juga lah, aku jumpa sungai Tambulion.. hahaha.. bertahun-tahun lamanya nda mandi sungai kan.. Ok, itu pra introduction. hahaha

*R*E*A*L*  *I*N*T*R*O*D*U*C*T*I*O*N*

Dulu aku pernah ikut kursus menjahit felt ni di Tuaran, Sabah, bersama-sama Ibu, Puen, dan juga wena. Ladies of the house lah kiranya ni. Course yang kami ambil berbeza but the basic I think the same. Aku ambil pakej buah-buahan dan angry bird. Jahit Lobak oren dan apple. ibu jahit cover buku. Puen jahit strawberry. the other tu aku tak ingat.. hehehe So, kalau nak kata beginner dalam bidang felt ni, nampak sangat menipunya tu ah. Then, aku rasa aku dalam tahap amateur la ni.. sebab nak kata aku terer buat shape2 felting ni memang tak. Aku buat yang simple-simple dan shape yang aku rasa nak buat ja. hehehe

Nak tengok ke some of this amateur handmade? hehehe

This is my first attempt.. Love Keychain.

Phone strap tu aku beli masa tengok-tengok kedai di Kangar sebelum balik bercuti. 

Comel je aku tengok.. suka hati .. hahaha.. Ok next!

Yang bulat tu aku nak buat macam emoji n smiley sebenarnya, tapi kain felt aku yg terhad, aku guna jak felt yang ada masa tu.. light pink hahaha.. mashmallow tu pulak, aku jumpa tutorial buat mashmallow plushie di youtube.. Nampak comel kan, tapi agak susah juga nak buat. hahaha. sebab aku tak notice mashmallow tu ada 3 part yang nak kena jahit bagi cantum.. Yang love tu, hah as you can see. macam tu jak lah..  hehehe

Ingat nak buat collection lah kunun ni. tapi terdetik pulak nak jual. So, aku suggest supaya wena offer pada kawan2nya di sekolah. And then, here we go.. Order starting to flow in... aku tak expect pun ada order.. aku ingat nak jual apa yang aku dah buat ja.. hahahaa. Dan aku flabbergasted bila kawan-kawan wena order shape-shape yang aku tak buat for the first time, contohnya bentuk awan, matahari, bunga, bintang. Hohoho. 

Some of the shape, I managed to make them such for the awan (cloud).

Bunga. Bintang. Yang shape Bintang, bunga, love dalam gambar ni semua order kawan-kawan wena. As I made these for children, I decided to use thread as the way to make all of them are possible to buy at price RM 1.5 - RM 2.00.

Random shape. 

 Yang ni, aku try nak buat Onigiri kunun... tapi entah aku main buat jak.. sedar-sedar lagi sudah salah step. hahaha.. bantai bagi siap jak lah,.,

Yang ni, aku buat santai jak.. 'Hai'. 

Cuba kata 'Hai', manatau jodoh kan.. hahaha

Okay, that's all for this post..

See you again in the next post.

May Allah bless us.. aamiin.

*E*N*D*

6 April 2015

Assalamualaikum,

Hai. Apa khabar pembaca blogku ini? (aisehmen, betrip lagi bah si amal ni. hahaha)

     Lama dah aku tak kemaskinikan blog Roda Coklat ni. Sibuk dengan semester 4 ni adalah salah satu dari puncanya dan idea yang aku nak tulis pun kebanyakkannya pasal luahan hati yang entah, boleh dipublish ke tak. Sebab aku rasa macam nak mention real name ja supaya orang tu tahu yang aku tujukan post tu untuknya. Namun, alhamdulillah, aku masih waras dan behave, kalau tak memang tak tahu lah mana nak letak muka aku ni kalau aku betul betul buat post-post luahan hati sebelum ini. Hahaha

     Sekarang ni, hari ke-tiga dalam cuti pertengahan semester buat Universiti Malaysia Perlis (UniMAP) dan aku hanya duduk lepak dalam bilik yang ala-ala sauna. It's summer time.  Bahang bruh. hahaha.

"Duduk, lepak jer? takdak assignment ke amal oiii?"

- some of you might wonder that. 

or this

" Punya berlambak kerja nak due date lepas cuti ni, amal ni boleh pulak dia duduk lepak ja masa cuti ni?" 

- this thought might from my classmates because actually, we got a lot of things to do  which need to submit after this mid semester holiday ends.

Well, during these three days, I was more like trying to fix my life, you know. I looking for some motivation and doing some self -reflection which I think still have long way to go. Even though I aware that I should start doing preparation for all my subjects. Since, I think I messed up my Thermodynamics, Fluid Mechanics, and Engineering Mathematics III mid term test. This semester is pretty though! Dealing with subject that mostly 95% calculation really knock me down, because surely formula and calculation are just not my comfort zone to play with.

Not knowing anything really suck! My stupidity slowly kills me inside. And thats when I just keep silent in class, staring on the white board or lecturer's PowerPoint presentation. 

• Some lecturer's style of teaching are just to fast for me, until I always left behind.
• Some lecturer's style of teaching are like puzzle, they gave a starter, but they want us to finish until the end which way that I can't reach the end of the question.
• and other problems which also come from me...

I don't think I have the capability to learn faster in subject that have calculation and formula. And I think its spread to other subject too. But what's now? I already choose this programme RK84- Product Design Engineering. Until one day, I post this on my Facebook.

The difficulty being a product design engineering student reminds me about the offer that I received when I applied to higher eduction after my SPM. I got TESL, Graphic design, and other course too. But yeahh all of them are located at Semenanjung which I know, I will not get the chance to take that offer. At that time, I was so obsessed with Politeknik Kota Kinabalu, one reason of my obsession is about the Taekwondo, since I still active joining the taekwondo competition. hehehe. Ok, that so old story. So, what's next mal?

Have you ever felt that, you want to be the most intelligent person that can study on your own so that you don't have to beg for someone to teach you which any means getting no help from other people? I felt this several time. I envy those who clever enough to study on their own.. How they do it  and become successful pass in their exam? How they study? Everything is 'how?'. 

• I want to be successful like them.
• I want my pointer above 3.
• I want everything that I want.

hahaha. ok behave mal. One of my friends, told me, 'kena rajin', so I should be hardworking right? hm. My girl friends always say ' Kak Mal boleh! kak Mal boleh!' to me. Thanks to my close classmate and my housemate. Saying motivation words to someone who already knockdown like me, is like giving hope by watering the almost dead flower. May Allah bless us all. Aamiin.