Kata hati,
Jauh lagi mendebarkan,
Angan dicantas realiti,
Jiwa berkecamuk,
Diam pandangan menemani bicara,
Berselindung ego,
Akal waras dimainkan kekeliruan,
Diri seakan bukan tuannya empunya,
Hilang bila saatnya bertemumu.
This was my first time at Langkawi. Its not a vacation. It was for Taekwondo MGTf tournament and was held at Langkawi on Thursday which made me escaped my Manufacturing Technology class at 2 pm - 4 pm. I went there with Tawfik, another co-curriculum Taekwondo UniMAP international member.
The fees is RM 24.00. I joined 2 event, pattern and sparring. I am in open category since I already 22 years old and currently my weight is 69 kg. Perghhh! Gaining 10+ kg after so long not participate in any tournament.
My First Game
This is my first game. I am that one wearing the blue guard. Got no intensive training, I just depend on my weekly co-curriculum training, every skill that I still remember from my past Taekwondo and Silat training, and tawakal to Allah. I realize that my stamina is weak, so I dont have high expectation on sparring. Since, I seen most of the participants are very aggressive and energetic even for a middle schooler. The most popular fouls done was punching the face or head. I was like, " You got to be kidding me?!". Honestly, I only target a medal for pattern.
But then, I thought of the money that I asked from my mother and the permission from my father. Suddenly, it pop out in my head. I paid taxi RM 8 after divided with Tawfik, then RM 18 for ferry from jetty to Langkawi, RM 15 for taxi from the Langkawi jetty to the venue event, RM 25 for the 2 event fees, again RM 18 from Langkawi's jetty to back to Perlis, I forgot the van charge from the Langkawi Airport to the Langkawi Jetty. Almost costs me a RM100, just for the journey and tournament.
Then, I decided to try my best to win the game after all the sacrifice that I had done. My first opponent was pretty good in sparring. She was agressive and that did scared me a bit because at the moment the referee starting the game, she moved directly toward to me. I felt that, among the game of sparring on that day, my sparring game was the most relax one. It was because I kept running around the mattres to catch up my breath. There was a time, I felt my leg was so heavy to lift but, SubhanAllah, that was so-not-like-me at all, because most of my experience, when I tired to lift up my leg, that would be the time that I thinking of giving up, I think Allah helps me to gather the strenght in me for the moment. I feel the strength in me to never give up until the last second of the game. Alhamdulillah, I won for my first game.
My Final game.
This was my second and final sparring game because we are Group C, only 7 people in a group, if I not mistaken lah. Oh ya! My nomber is 279. Again, I was wearing the blue guards. My opponent is quite taller than me and much more slim than me. I did feel a few punches on my face, but as I not very practically used to punch so I trust my kick more than my punch in Taekwondo. If in Silat Olahraga, it could be different I guess. Alhamdulillah, I won this final game. SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar.
Honestly, I felt that I was alone there. It was because, during my most game, I could talked to someone about my feeling, and if I couldn't find someone to talk to. I did some confession to myself and other self-made motivation words. hehehe. But still, at the end, the Only One that I reached to is Allah. Forgive me, ya Allah, for reaching for You at the last moment.
My Pattern
Sorry, I might not upload my first pattern videos because the opponent that I had fighted, I won over her because she might forgot about the pattern. So, it was not worth it I guess, to show I was winning because of that. About the final pattern videos, it seems not recorded fully enough. It was recorded a few second for the starting then it goes off. Dont be so curious, I got silver on that pattern event. I perform the Hwa-rang Pattern.
Then, Sis Dhama, Sis Aini, and me, went back to Perlis on the evening. Kind of rush a little, but I also dont want to miss out my Mathematic Engineering class for the next moring which was on Friday. I know how it feels after miss one of the mathematic class. It feels horrible. Alhamdulillah, safe journey.
To: Kang Maru Daisuki / Sayonara, I am between those two words, Daisuki, I had closed my heart, Then you came, I start to lose balance, You gain my curiosity and the interest on you, I tried to kick you out of my heart, Before you could become anything more than an interest, But it seems useless for me, You barely succes become Someone to me, Unlooked it with your persistence jokes and smile, This kind of feeling, I just cant tell you, But my eyes always do, When I am with you, My smile always bright from the heart, My laugh even with the simple words from you, Looking at you when you were not looking, Walk away and turns back, Wondering if you would look out for me, Pretend not seeing you in the crowds, Waiting you to call out my name, Those game I play with you, Once was a happiest memory of me and you, However, It slowly turns into sadness, It becomes the sad memory that flames with time, At time when you assume me being with someone else, My heart was twinge hardly, It was so hurt, I was going to tell that you that you were the one, It was you, It was you, It was you, But still it was my bad in words, I dont know how to tell you, Maybe, that made you misunderstood between me and that friend, I hate myself for not being able to tell you, You even pray for the happiness that never been existed, I dont know why, Even the talk broke me into pieces, I bear it, As long as you were talking to me. As long as you were talking to me. As long as I can talking to you. Finally that day soon appear, The day, The last day, You were there, I thought, As long as you were there, I felt as you are waiting for me, Even I dont even meet you, I felt happy as we breath the same air, Just happy by assume that we are standing on the same land, But in the end, I was just happy and sad by my assumption, Just because I afraid to approach you, Just afraid that if I told you, I am not afraid you reject me, Yes, I am sure of it, I just afraid that you dont want to be friend of me. And you'll make a distance, Love in the friendzone, If it is the only way that I could stay with you, I could stay as a friend for you, As long as I could reach you, Even in a different ways. Sayonara, But now, I think it doesnt matter anymore, You seems happy, I dont know much, But I do believe, There is someone near to who is loving you, Well, loving you more than I do, Cheerful, kind-hearted, and wise as you do, There will be someone who, Be there for you when you need someone, Stand by your side during your happy and sad time, Tend to listen all that you want to talk about, Support you when you feeling down, Guide you when you feel lose, Helps you calms your day, Honestly, I do wish be that one for you, but its seems that, Mine is far apart from that, In fact, I tend to hurt those who are close to me, But the harddest part of this is leeting you go, I hope someday, I am able to let you go. Just one, If you already belong to someone, Before this 5 years ends, If only, I hope I can forget you at that time, While during the time that I going to forget you, Dont appear at those moment, Maybe I could waver for you once again. :3 4 May 2014
Kesibukan Bulan Aprilku. Lambakan Ujian
Habis dari cuti seminggu tu, Masya-Allah, berderet hari ujianku dalam seminggu. Dan aku masih mengulangi kesilapan yang sama, hari ahad tu baru nak buka buku, nak ulangkaji. (Jangan tiru tabiat ini.) Product Innovation, Skill and Technology in Communication, dan Manufacturing Technology. Sebenarnya, aku lupa dah apa2 subjek tu, tapi honestly, memang banyak test aku dalam masa seminggu tu. Sabo je lah Mal.
Keputusan Ujian Matematik Kejuruteraan II
Aku gagal ujian Matematik. Madame suruh batch yang gagal ni supaya buat surat tunjuk sebab kenapa gagal. Madame suruh tarik diri atau ubah sikap. Ada sedikit kesedaran di situ. Sejujurnya, aku sedih dengan diri sendiri sebab aku kurang mahir dengan bab pembezaan dan pengamiran.
Kejohanan Taekwondo di Langkawi
Aku ikut kejohanan Taekwondo di Langkawi. Nak kuceritakan secara terperinci tetapi aku kurang rajin nak mengarang saat ini. Ringkasnya, aku dapat 1 pingat Emas untuk kategori Sparring dan 1 pingat Perak untuk acara Pattern, masa tu aku bawa pattern Hwa-Rang. Ya, aku masih talipinggang Merah calit hitam.
My new Little bro?
Lelaki. Di sini. Tak ramai yang panggil aku kak. Jadi bila ada yang panggil aku kak, aku teringat pula kenangan dekat politeknik. Sebab dekat poli ja yang aku dengan junior lelaki yang panggil aku kak. So, adalah sorang adik ni. Sebab dia panggil aku kak, so aku anggap dia adik ja lah. Jarang jua aku tegur adik ni sebab memang aku tak rapat sangat pun dengan dia ni. Bercerita pun sekali dua. Terserempak pun sekali dalam seminggu. Baru-baru ini, adik tu tanya aku soalan merujuk kepada seseorang yang mampu buat aku terkejut jua la. Aku tanya hampir 3 kali, just to make sure dia tanya soalan tu betul-betul ke atau sekadar nak mengusik + acah-acah aku. Kali ketiga tuh, aku inquiry part mana yang dia maksudkan. Soal kerja? Aku kata ok ja. Tanya kenapa dia tanya macam tu, katanya dia cuma nak pastikan aku bahagia saja sambil tersengih. eh eh, macam pelik ja ayatmu ni lil bro. Mostly, aku tak faham macamana orang boleh nak tentukan cara nak membahagiakan orang lain. So far, orang yang buat cara macam tu, buat aku kurang bahagia, ada lah.
Project Innovation.
Hm, aku nda tau lah dengan project proposal ni. Dah berminggu-minggu dah, aku masih nda dapat nak fokus design yang mana satu. Sabo je lah.
Kad Matrik Aku yang Hilang.
Kehilangan kad matrik aku tu lama dah. Ni nak urus pula, request kad matrik baru. Kena bayar pula. tapi still dalam perancangan nak urus pasal kad matrik ni. Bulan 6 nanti menjelang peperiksaan akhir dah.
Bengkel Formula One
Aku join bengkel ini bersama rakan kelas yang lain. Agak janggal sebab aku tak banyak bantu pun. Yang paling banyak buat kerja pun classmate lelaki ja lah.
Hati Dan Perasaan
Turun naik perasaan ini. Kadang rasa selalu syok sendiri. Sabo je lah.
Alhamdulillah baru sahaja jumpa beg aku yang terkurung selama dua hari di Perpustakaan Pauh akibat kelam kabut dan LUPA lokasi loker beserta kata kuncinya sekali. Memandangkan perut terasa lapar, aku menuju ke Cafe di Pusat Pengajian Kejuruteraan Pembuatan. Mee Goreng halus dan Teh ais, aku duduk mengadap televisyen. Mujur tak ramai lagi pelajar masa tu.
Masa tengok cerita upin ipin, masuk part budak-budak kelas bagi hadiah kad pada cikgu dorang tu, entah rasa sebak pula hatiku tengok. Mata bergenang air mata. Aku pelik dan hairan. Apa kena mengena babak ni dalam hidup aku, tak pernah berlaku pon sebabak macam tu dalam hidup aku setakat ini. Aku cuba bertenang, tapi rasa sebak itu masih ada.
Pelajar semakin ramai mengambil tempat di ruang meja makan cafe. Aku kesat air mata yang bertakung dengan hujung tudung. Aku pelik kenapa aku boleh terharu sampai macam ini. Sejujurnya, aku rasa pelik. Sepatutnya, aku rasa bahagia sebab jumpa beg aku tu. Tapi kesudahannya begini.
Selang beberapa minit kemudian, aku terpandang depan aku bahagian kanan, uis, tu senior dari program chit chat di Tasik Melati hari itu. Siap habiskan air minum, aku bergegas pergi, risau kalau dia masih kenal muka aku ni. Masa program bukan main lagi ke sana ke mari, dok kecoh nak melawak bagai, silap haribulan, boleh-boleh nampak aku touching depan tv. hohoho
Long time not experience the "No Pain No Gain" training, after long break semester. saat2 warming up masa join tounament pun terkenang kembali.. Rasa mau throw up, pening2, senak perut, 'lawatan' cramp kaki, kaki menggigil mo buat stand pattern, all in one shot. Tu lah bahana kalau dah lama tinggal training, pattern pun igt2 lupa.
~~( Ai ngini pan tubal bana tuh, nia tekule ku lagi pattern ea, ei choong moo uii choong moo. T_T). -maaf jo amun bida bana grammar sama ku mitu.. ling jomo, da' tekelipat pertuturan ti..ka salah lgi.. ups..~~~
So, this sem, new mission received, sepatutnya dari semester 5 di poli lagi bule accomplish ne, tapi nak bertangguh sgt. Nah ambikmu, di sini. Dengar cerita, ada tournament di Langkawi, kalau aku nda silap, mcm ada jua aku dengar cerita si kawan d fesbuk. Macam mo join, tpi risau jdi punching bag ja nanti dalam tu, malu sia. hahaha. Tapi macam best ja kalau dapat join, lagi best kalau terjumpa2 kwn-kwn seborneo di sini. Asi kah tu kalu masuk kategori 60 kg ke atas. Susah sudah mo turunkan berat badan sekarang ni.banding 50 - 55 kg..aihh zaman remaja ku berlalu begitu sahaja..
-cerita budak bintang coklat- RM ep 41, Daebakkk! — feeling akan adalah rupa king kong berjalan di serata kawasan UniMAP ni.. King Kong? lama tak guna perkataan tu sejak SAGA.. ke tun said dulu? :D.
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Continue~
I met new taekwondo member. I saw he wearing the red belt with black strip. Oh?! We are the same level. Feeling happy because now I have a partner to train together.
While doing the warming up, I don't realize that I did the step wrong, suddenly I heard, "Kiri." Lol, felt full of shame baq hang. I change my step quickly, without looking at him, hearing his laugh, I just smile which I assume as my thank you for fixing my mistake.
Just when I taught he is the same belt with me, I saw he practicing that kind of pattern which I had learn before for a tournament for black belt pattern. You think what I am thinking? Yes that's right. He is my senior, a black belt 1 Dan sunbae. Oh my mistake...
During the self practise, I practise my Choong Moo with him. So, he also almost forgot the choong moo step. Due to his dialect, I'd confirm his state. Just hearing he used 'Aku', I felt a little bit 'Eh'? But then, everything goes well without high level of awkwardness, hm i think because the usage of 'Aku', because I also use 'Aku' after he start first. ngehh.. hehehe
At the end of training, he was given his 1st Dan certificate which had practise Taekwondo for 9 years, and Sir Rahman said that I should get my 1st Dan for this semester. oh ehm.. Insya-Allah. That sunbae, I never say he before, so I assumed that he is not a UniMAP's student, because he said that he just join the training. Guess what, the next day, I saw him around this wang ulu. uhai.. Student juga rupanya.. ^_^
feeling akan adalah rupa king kong berjalan di serata kawasan UniMAP ni.. King Kong? lama tak guna perkataan tu sejak SAGA.. ke tun said dulu? :D.