Wednesday, 25 June 2014

It's 26 June Right?

Its 26 June 2014 right? Actually, I didn't sleep yet. During the dawn, I just finished watching The Heirs, it's a Korean Drama which some friends recommended me to watch because of the actor and actress, school love story, and the conflict isn't so difficult to be solved.

The Heirs, 20 episode and the subtitle was remixed. Some was in Malay, Indonesia, English, and also no subtitle on the episode 14.The hero is Lee Min Ho, which I started to like him when he act in City Hunter. Even the first drama I saw him was the Boys Over Flower, I didn't attracted to him because I don't like his character in that drama. 

Well, in this The Heirs drama, I love the Choi Young Do character after he met Cha Eun Sang. Then, Chan Young also. They remind me of someone. Someone who so far from me even right now. I see a part of me in Young Do's character. The drama's songs are pretty awesome. Listen to each song, make the memories appear slowly. I doubt whether some falling tears were caused by the scene or my memories instead.

Aigoo, I'm sleepy. Suddenly, I started to do some cleaning, and packing my stuff more properly even today is my last qadha fasting. Well tomorrow is a big day. My flight is at 4.40 pm. Yet, I need to buy the bus ticket at 9.00 am from Kangar to Penang. Insya-Allah. I think I got to sleep now and wake up at 2.00 pm. Let me get some sleep. Assalamualaikum.

Thursday, 5 June 2014

My Conflict Mini Project History


Sebelum Pembentangan
Beberapa hari lagi sebelum pembentangan mini project subjek Product Innovation, sepatutnya aku dan partner aku yang sorang lagi tu, mula sediakan apa yang patut, memandangkan progress mini project kami ni yang ada hanya 8 helai design of plunger sahaja.

Tapi sejak beberapa minggu ini, aku rasa tak bersemangat nak buat kerja. Nak belajar pun malas, bak kata semua malas. Tambah2 lagi kewangan aku tu dah tahap kritikal dah. Bahan2 untuk buat mock-up pun tak beli lagi. Dan lagi parah dari segala perkara ni ialah partner aku macam tak risau pun pasal mini projek ni. Tak call tanya apa progress yang perlu dibuat, semacam tak peduli apa-apa langsung. Ini yang buat aku lagi fed up dan rasa nak give up.

Bentuk Kumpulan
Memang awal dulu lagi, aku nak buat secara individu untuk mini project sebab boleh ja kalau nak buat secara individu. Tapi pensyarah dah tetapkan semua kena ada group, PDE ada 60 org, jadi nak tak nak kena ada partner. So, dah Allah takdirkan aku satu group dengan partner aku ni. Aku tak kenal sangat dia ni, kenal masa semester 1 pun kenal nama ja. Sorang kawan yang baru daftar group lalu depan aku selepas pensyarah umum aku satu group dengan partner aku tu tanya, " Amal, ok ke (refer kepada group aku)?". Aku yang tak tau apa-apa yang akan terjadi selepas ni kata, " ok ja.".

Selepas tu, bermula la semuanya. Partner aku ni, bagi aku, agak susah sikit aku nak rasa yakin dan selesa. So, dari situ, aku ubah sikit perangai aku jadi macam dulu2, tapi tak power sangat lah. Aku sebenarnya malas nak jadi pusher orang ni. Sebab kalau aku pun, aku taknak hidup aku asyik kena push. Tapi kadangkala, dia something jua. Ada hari dah dekat pertengahan semester, aku nak tukar project sebab aku dah hilang keyakinan nak buat project ni sebab aku tengok dia macam tak berminat nak buat project ni, ya lah, plunger = pelocok, group lain semua buat macam spanar, alat ukur, inspection tool, tapi group kami? buat plunger? huhuhu, tapi dia dengan yakin ja isi borang mini project proposal tu. 

Selain tu, kami kena buat 8 design of plunger. aku bagi dia 4 dan aku pun kena buat 4 lukisan. Perjumpaan dalam kelas yang seterusnya, aku hanya buat 1 lukisan sahaja. dia buat empat lukisan siap. masa tu, jujur aku malu dengan diri sendiri sebab tak buat 4 lukisan hingga siap. huhuu Hari tu kena brainstorming dgn pensyarah, aku terkejut sebab dia nak jumpa cepat.. Mengantuk katanya sebab tak tidur buat 4 design tu. hm ok.. selesai brainstorming tu, aku lepak sekejap dengan dorang kak aisyah kat meja depan tuh. Sekembalinya aku di tempat mejaku, aku tengok beg dia dah takda. hm? pi tandas ke? tapi apasal beg takda?. aku tanya dorang najib di sebelah, tandas katanya. Aku dah rasa something weird. Tapi takpa, aku duduk ja tunggu sambil review sketching tu. Dekat nak habis waktu kelas dah, aku macam dah pasti yang partner aku dah balik, tinggalkan aku seorang padahal aku ada nak bincang lagi pasal project ni. Walaupun aku dah boleh agak yang partner aku dah balik, aku tanya buat kali kedua dengan dorang kat belakang tuh tapi kali ini aku direct to the point, " dia balik kan?!". that something yang buat aku frust yang classmate yang aku tanya tu, boleh ja nak tipu aku. Aku benci diperbodohkan sebegitu rupa.

Preparation To Presentation.
Aku beli bahan untuk buat mock-up semasa aku keluar pi KWSP untuk ambil kad matriks aku. tak banyak pun bahan yang perlu aku beli, setakat polistrine dan kertas hitam 2, satu untuk shaft plungger tu, satu lagi untuk presentation. Tapi yang tragisnya, masa tu memang aku tahap pokai cukup untuk makan untuk hari tu saja. duit tinggal rm 6.++ lagi. Tapi kalau aku tak beli sekarang, aku malas nak keluar pi kangar ni. Sampai jak aku di kedai First Touch tu, aku dah bajet, tak makan takpa, stock maggie asam laksa still ada atas meja. syukur2 ja bahan tu rm2.50 ja. hohoho. sedih gila aku masa tu dengan diri aku. tapi aku pasrah. Nak minta duit kat ibu, malu.. aku dah 22 thn tapi masih minta duit dengan ibu. org lain sebaya aku dah sedap makan gaji sendiri.

Hari Pembentangan.
Aku dah beli bahan, tapi aku tak buat apa pun. akhirnya aku tak pi pun pembentangan tu. Pensyarah aku ada call aku masa tu lebih kurang jam 5 ptg. tapi aku tak sedar pensyarah aku call sebab aku tengah mengadap laptop, cuba menghilangkan kekecewaan yang bertimbun berguni-guni dan mencari semangat aku yang hilang dalam beberapa minggu ni. Running Man, nyata HaHa dan Jaesuk, daebak. The naughty and agressive but caring HaHa & The positive and supporter Jaesuk, kekusutan dalam hati dan minda aku terlerai dan hariku ceria berbanding dari sebelumnya. Malam tuh, Yana singgah dekat tingkap bilik, tanya kenapa aku nda datang pi pembentangan dan kata pensyarah tu suruh aku buat pembentangan seorang. Tak lama pastu, Nisa datang ke bilikku, tak lain, bicara tentang ini jua. Selepas bercerita dengan Nisa, aku rasa tergerak untuk buat sesuatu. Tapi apa?

50/50 ?
Saat aku ambil keputusan untuk tak pi pembentangan tu, aku dah 100% give up untuk mini project. Tapi kerana ada 1 miss call dari pensyarah aku, kata-kata dorongan Yana dan Nisa. Aku yakin Allah dah tentukan semua ini untuk aku bangkit semula. Ilham dan semangat yang mula hadir secara perlahan-lahan menyerap ke segenap sarafku, ku yakin dan percaya itu ketentuan Allah, walaupun betapa teruk aku rasa dan aku nilai sebelum ini. Mula dari hari ahad tu aku mulakan dengan buat powerpoint dan report. Hari Isnin masih lagi dengan report, Petang isnin mula lukisan teknikal, hari selasa lukisan teknikal dan malam buat mock up di ruang tamu rumah. Alhamdulillah jam 3 am tu, aku siap semuanya untuk mock up. Hari Rabu pagi, aku kumpul semuanya, adjust report sikit, print report, setting up presentation board. 

Assembly Design
 The Making of Plunger Mock Up


Cutting process

Add hydraulic pressure.. ahaha just kidding. It was at 2 or 3 am something.
So, I thought this was the suitable method at the time.

The handle

Tadaaa 

Some messy work.

Tadaaa again.

All of my classmate use black cardboard while I only using black paper. hm, not the food type ok.


Ceritaku ke Kampus Pauh
Semasa aku menuju ke bustop tu, aku terserempak pula dengan Hazman, classmate aku. Nampak aku bawa plastik putih dalam tu mock-up plunger sambil pakai jacket UniMAP, dia tanya aku pi mana. Hm, kalau aku jadi dia, pun sure aku tanya juga la. Aku tersengih ja nda jawab soalan dia. Jam 1 aku ke tempat menunggu bas kk wang ulu, aku seorang saja! sekarang kan minggu study week jadi tak ramai student ke pauh. Memandangkan aku seorang saja, mustahil driver bas tu nak hantar aku 45 minit ke pauh guna bas kan. Sewa Kereta! Tapi aku takut pula nak drive, almaklum lah jalan kat highway ni nda sama macam jalan di pekan KB. Eottokke? Nak tak nak, RM30 aku sewa 3 jam, kereta viva manual. Agak kelam kabut jua aku dalam kereta tu, lama dah tak drive. ala nak buat apa pun, aku jerit terkejut pun aku seorang ja dalam kereta tu. hahaha. Tapi, drive sorang2, sangat2lah boring. Volume radio up sampai 25. Buka tingkap kereta, Rasa deras angin menujah telapak tangan buat aku hilang tumpuan seketika masa memandu tuh. Tsk Tsk..

Sampai di PPKP, aku terserempak dengan cibu dan anuar sementara tunggu pensyarah. Jumpa dengan pensyarah tu, tak banyak yang aku nak cerita dekat sini. Sebab tu semua pun salah aku juga, tapi aku terima semuanya dengan hati yang pasrah. Cumanya ada beberapa kata-kata pensyarah tu yang buat aku sentap dan jatuh semangat walaupun hakikatnya, ada benarnya kata-kata beliau tuh. He said that he will deduct my mark and the worst he could just set my mark as zero because he said that what i was doing right now is not fair with the others, yes! I agreed with that because I know all this is my fault. But then, he added that, I would be fired instantly if I working. He doesnt want to acknowledge me as one of his student. Those words were so.....Wahahahaha. The truth, I is hurts so much because of the honest words. At that time, I felt like I just want to stand up, take back all my report and my mock-up, apologize, say thank you and walk away straight from the door. But I didn't. I sat quietly starring blank. I forced a smile instead of words. however, my smile is not a smile. By sudden, my eyes become watery. Fortunately, I calmed myself down.Trying not to show my true feeling. At the end, I thanked him, then I honestly tell him that, I will not submit my report and mock-up or anything to him. Then, he said " Letak!" strictly. My heart at that time was filled with anger, sad, hurt prides, if I continue following my feeling like this, I will lose the mark and I will regret because this will affect my pointer. Then, slowly I put my report with the other report and also my mock-up. I really dont agreed with my action that time but my hand just do as if it been told to move. 

I got into the car. Little scream wont let the anger go away. I was half anger and half blank. I drove back to wang ulu. Scream with the loud music in the car. Open the windows widely. Feel the air. This kind of situation I faced alone but I know Allah is with me. I want to talk about this to someone that I comfortable with. But if I did, they might not hear the whole story, all that they can hear is crying. Then they will say stop crying. There are some people pop out in my mind, I feels like I am gonna call them but I am not sure that they willing to hear me out, so I blew away the feeling. During the time I drove back to wang ulu, by sudden, I felt like I was just sitting holding the staring, look the road infront me, I wasnt thinking that I was driving. Oh my guts! Trying to focus on driving, I sang the old malay song that sung by Firman. At 4 pm, I parked the car at JPS and took some walk there. Trying to calm myself. Walking on the bridge, while looking down to the water. Ah~ Its was scarry but then I feel nice and fun. I think I spent over 40 minutes, then I drove back to wang ulu. And thats my story.  And now, still searching the mood to study. If Allah wills, I will succes. aamiiiiiin.








Monday, 2 June 2014

Mode Viva Project Innovation


Sementara yang lain dah on mode "Study Week". Manakala aku masih diselubungi bayangan viva mini project. Aku dah give up dah beberapa abad minggu yang lalu, tapi kerana 1 miss call dan bicara teman-teman yang caring tanya pasal aku dan secara tak langsung bagi aku keyakinan untuk up berdiri kembali. (uhuk~ touched. almost tears) Sebab aku tau, masuk u ni, semua jaga diri masing2. Jatuh kah bangun kah, pandai2 lah tanggung sendiri. Jazakallahu khairan, ya sahabat. Nda lama, Ibu call tanya beritaku di sini. "Ada apa masalah". " Ada. Masalah jiwa, perasaan." balasku. then my beloved mother assume me was fall in love with someone. Aigoo. Itulah padahnya, masa kerja dulu selalu buat lawak cintan-cintun dengan ibu. kena diri sendiri. hahaha. As always, ibu with her inspirational words. Thanks ibu. Dont worry Ibu, I'm still ok here and still dont have any commitment into that kind of future.

Some friends from poly already warned me about this years back ago. But still, last semester viva project memory is not a joke. Some questions flew without any convincing answer. Blown my spirit away. A few days more to 10 June, its my first final exam paper. hm.. gonna start this, after done my viva project. Insya-Allah.

"Ya Allah permudahkanlah segala urusanku dan jangan disulitkan. Kuatkan semangatku berdiri mengharungi cabaran hidup ini. Tingkatkan kesabaranku dan jauhkanlah aku dari segala bisikan yang menghasut kejahatan tiap masa..Aamiiiiin."

Struggling Down (FBstatus)


"I dont know. Felt everything struggle to bring me down to the worst. Who do you think would give up for their fyp? But their enthusiasme succesfully keep me on the track to push the work until the limit. Miss my fyp member.. T.T 

This afternoon. Yes, still got time i think. Start where I had been stop. If it cant be done on time, I shall let this one be my very unforgetable memory. Just think of " Only the strong mind and enthusiasme can win the game.".

Left."


I really felt down this time. It's my second tears drops in my second semester here. Even the first semester already got my tears down.And the reasons are still the same. Group, teamwork, commitment. Aigoo. I can't be strong pusher all the time. It does not only stress them, but this also stress me out to be a pusher. Ah! jeongmal, pichasoo! 

Friday, 30 May 2014

Whatever Tapi Risau (FBstatus)


"Mood : Whatever tapi risau juga. Macam ntah!

This upcoming saturday made me forgeting tomorrow event.
Its my oral presentation or should i say it will be my reading presentation?
Everything still the same, not moving even an milimeter from it last state.
The report, the drawing, the viva preparation, the mock up? ngeh.
It annoys me a lot to be thought even just by remember so much thing to be settle up.
Sabar menahan bisikan2 halus yang semakin bergema sayup di segala rongga perasaan.
(-__-*)

anyway, matlufhi, I think you'll be the good companion to talk to. I bet you gonna say " buatlah assignment." Ahakz.

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Bertemumu

Kata hati,
Jauh lagi mendebarkan,
Angan dicantas realiti,
Jiwa berkecamuk,
Diam pandangan menemani bicara,
Berselindung ego,
Akal waras dimainkan kekeliruan,
Diri seakan bukan tuannya empunya,
Hilang bila saatnya bertemumu.

Mystery.

-Cents-


Sunday, 4 May 2014

One Day at Langkawi

24 April 2014
This was my first time at Langkawi. Its not a vacation. It was for Taekwondo MGTf tournament and was held at Langkawi on Thursday which made me escaped my Manufacturing Technology class at 2 pm - 4 pm. I went there with Tawfik, another co-curriculum Taekwondo UniMAP international member.

The fees is RM 24.00. I joined 2 event, pattern and sparring. I am in open category since I already 22 years old and currently my weight is 69 kg. Perghhh! Gaining 10+ kg after so long not participate in any tournament.

My First Game


This is my first game. I am that one wearing the blue guard. Got no intensive training, I just depend on my weekly co-curriculum training, every skill that I still remember from my past Taekwondo and Silat training, and tawakal to Allah. I realize that my stamina is weak, so I dont have high expectation on sparring. Since, I seen most of the participants are very aggressive and energetic even for a middle schooler. The most popular fouls done was punching the face or head. I was like, " You got to be kidding me?!". Honestly, I only target a medal for pattern. 

But then, I thought of the money that I asked from my mother and the permission from my father. Suddenly, it pop out in my head. I paid taxi RM 8 after divided with Tawfik, then RM 18 for ferry from jetty to Langkawi, RM 15 for taxi from the Langkawi jetty to the venue event, RM 25 for the 2 event fees, again RM 18 from Langkawi's jetty to back to Perlis, I forgot the van charge from the Langkawi Airport to the Langkawi Jetty. Almost costs me a RM100, just for the journey and tournament.  

Then, I decided to try my best to win the game after all the sacrifice that I had done. My first opponent was pretty good in sparring. She was agressive and that did scared me a bit because at the moment the referee starting the game, she moved directly toward to me. I felt that, among the game of sparring on that day, my sparring game was the most relax one. It was because I kept running around the mattres to catch up my breath. There was a time, I felt my leg was so heavy to lift but, SubhanAllah, that was so-not-like-me at all, because most of my experience, when I tired to lift up my leg, that would be the time that I thinking of giving up, I think Allah helps me to gather the strenght in me for the moment. I feel the strength in me to never give up until the last second of the game. Alhamdulillah, I won for my first game.

My Final game.


This was my second and final sparring game because we are Group C, only 7 people in a group, if I not mistaken lah. Oh ya! My nomber is 279. Again, I was wearing the blue guards. My opponent is quite taller than me and much more slim than me. I did feel a few punches on my face, but as I not very practically used to punch so I trust my kick more than my punch in Taekwondo. If in Silat Olahraga, it could be different I guess. Alhamdulillah, I won this final game. SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar. 

Honestly, I felt that I was alone there. It was because, during my most game, I could talked to someone about my feeling, and if I couldn't find someone to talk to. I did some confession to myself and other self-made motivation words. hehehe. But still, at the end, the Only One that I reached to is Allah. Forgive me, ya Allah, for reaching for You at the last moment.


My Pattern

Sorry, I might not upload my first pattern videos because the opponent that I had fighted, I won over her because she might forgot about the pattern. So, it was not worth it I guess, to show I was winning because of that. About the final pattern videos, it seems not recorded fully enough. It was recorded a few second for the starting then it goes off. Dont be so curious, I got silver on that pattern event. I perform the Hwa-rang Pattern.

Then, Sis Dhama, Sis Aini, and me, went back to Perlis on the evening. Kind of rush a little, but I also dont want to miss out my Mathematic Engineering class for the next moring which was on Friday. I know how it feels after miss one of the mathematic class. It feels horrible. Alhamdulillah, safe journey.