Friday, 30 May 2014

Whatever Tapi Risau (FBstatus)

"Mood : Whatever tapi risau juga. Macam ntah!

This upcoming saturday made me forgeting tomorrow event.
Its my oral presentation or should i say it will be my reading presentation?
Everything still the same, not moving even an milimeter from it last state.
The report, the drawing, the viva preparation, the mock up? ngeh.
It annoys me a lot to be thought even just by remember so much thing to be settle up.
Sabar menahan bisikan2 halus yang semakin bergema sayup di segala rongga perasaan.

anyway, matlufhi, I think you'll be the good companion to talk to. I bet you gonna say " buatlah assignment." Ahakz.

Tuesday, 20 May 2014


Kata hati,
Jauh lagi mendebarkan,
Angan dicantas realiti,
Jiwa berkecamuk,
Diam pandangan menemani bicara,
Berselindung ego,
Akal waras dimainkan kekeliruan,
Diri seakan bukan tuannya empunya,
Hilang bila saatnya bertemumu.



Sunday, 4 May 2014

One Day at Langkawi

24 April 2014
This was my first time at Langkawi. Its not a vacation. It was for Taekwondo MGTf tournament and was held at Langkawi on Thursday which made me escaped my Manufacturing Technology class at 2 pm - 4 pm. I went there with Tawfik, another co-curriculum Taekwondo UniMAP international member.

The fees is RM 24.00. I joined 2 event, pattern and sparring. I am in open category since I already 22 years old and currently my weight is 69 kg. Perghhh! Gaining 10+ kg after so long not participate in any tournament.

My First Game

This is my first game. I am that one wearing the blue guard. Got no intensive training, I just depend on my weekly co-curriculum training, every skill that I still remember from my past Taekwondo and Silat training, and tawakal to Allah. I realize that my stamina is weak, so I dont have high expectation on sparring. Since, I seen most of the participants are very aggressive and energetic even for a middle schooler. The most popular fouls done was punching the face or head. I was like, " You got to be kidding me?!". Honestly, I only target a medal for pattern. 

But then, I thought of the money that I asked from my mother and the permission from my father. Suddenly, it pop out in my head. I paid taxi RM 8 after divided with Tawfik, then RM 18 for ferry from jetty to Langkawi, RM 15 for taxi from the Langkawi jetty to the venue event, RM 25 for the 2 event fees, again RM 18 from Langkawi's jetty to back to Perlis, I forgot the van charge from the Langkawi Airport to the Langkawi Jetty. Almost costs me a RM100, just for the journey and tournament.  

Then, I decided to try my best to win the game after all the sacrifice that I had done. My first opponent was pretty good in sparring. She was agressive and that did scared me a bit because at the moment the referee starting the game, she moved directly toward to me. I felt that, among the game of sparring on that day, my sparring game was the most relax one. It was because I kept running around the mattres to catch up my breath. There was a time, I felt my leg was so heavy to lift but, SubhanAllah, that was so-not-like-me at all, because most of my experience, when I tired to lift up my leg, that would be the time that I thinking of giving up, I think Allah helps me to gather the strenght in me for the moment. I feel the strength in me to never give up until the last second of the game. Alhamdulillah, I won for my first game.

My Final game.

This was my second and final sparring game because we are Group C, only 7 people in a group, if I not mistaken lah. Oh ya! My nomber is 279. Again, I was wearing the blue guards. My opponent is quite taller than me and much more slim than me. I did feel a few punches on my face, but as I not very practically used to punch so I trust my kick more than my punch in Taekwondo. If in Silat Olahraga, it could be different I guess. Alhamdulillah, I won this final game. SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar. 

Honestly, I felt that I was alone there. It was because, during my most game, I could talked to someone about my feeling, and if I couldn't find someone to talk to. I did some confession to myself and other self-made motivation words. hehehe. But still, at the end, the Only One that I reached to is Allah. Forgive me, ya Allah, for reaching for You at the last moment.

My Pattern

Sorry, I might not upload my first pattern videos because the opponent that I had fighted, I won over her because she might forgot about the pattern. So, it was not worth it I guess, to show I was winning because of that. About the final pattern videos, it seems not recorded fully enough. It was recorded a few second for the starting then it goes off. Dont be so curious, I got silver on that pattern event. I perform the Hwa-rang Pattern.

Then, Sis Dhama, Sis Aini, and me, went back to Perlis on the evening. Kind of rush a little, but I also dont want to miss out my Mathematic Engineering class for the next moring which was on Friday. I know how it feels after miss one of the mathematic class. It feels horrible. Alhamdulillah, safe journey.

Daisuki Or Sayonara

To: Kang Maru

Daisuki / Sayonara,
I am between those two words,

I had closed my heart,
Then you came,
I start to lose balance,
You gain my curiosity and the interest on you,
I tried to kick you out of my heart,
Before you could become anything more than an interest,
But it seems useless for me,
You barely succes become Someone to me,
Unlooked it with your persistence jokes and smile,

This kind of feeling,
I just cant tell you,
But my eyes always do,
When I am with you,
My smile always bright from the heart,
My laugh even with the simple words from you,
Looking at you when you were not looking,
Walk away and turns back,
Wondering if you would look out for me,
Pretend not seeing you in the crowds,
Waiting you to call out my name,
Those game I play with you,
Once was a happiest memory of me and you,

It slowly turns into sadness,
It becomes the sad memory that flames with time,
At time when you assume me being with someone else,
My heart was twinge hardly,
It was so hurt,
I was going to tell that you that you were the one,
It was you,
It was you,
It was you,
But still it was my bad in words,
I dont know how to tell you,
Maybe, that made you misunderstood between me and that friend,
I hate myself for not being able to tell you,
You even pray for the happiness that never been existed,
I dont know why,
Even the talk broke me into pieces,
I bear it,
As long as you were talking to me.
As long as you were talking to me.
As long as I can talking to you.

Finally that day soon appear,
The day,
The last day,
You were there,
I thought,
As long as you were there,
I felt as you are waiting for me,
Even I dont even meet you,
I felt happy as we breath the same air,
Just happy by assume that we are standing on the same land,
But in the end,
I was just happy and sad by my assumption,
Just because I afraid to approach you,
Just afraid that if I told you,
I am not afraid you reject me,
Yes, I am sure of it,
I just afraid that you dont want to be friend of me.
And you'll make a distance,

Love in the friendzone,
If it is the only way that I could stay with you,
I could stay as a friend for you,
As long as I could reach you,
Even in a different ways.

But now,
I think it doesnt matter anymore,
You seems happy,
I dont know much,
But I do believe,
There is someone near to who is loving you,
Well, loving you more than I do,
Cheerful, kind-hearted, and wise as you do,
There will be someone who,
Be there for you when you need someone,
Stand by your side during your happy and sad time,
Tend to listen all that you want to talk about,
Support you when you feeling down,
Guide you when you feel lose,
Helps you calms your day,
I do wish be that one for you,
but its seems that,
Mine is far apart from that,
In fact,
I tend to hurt those who are close to me,
But the harddest part of this is leeting you go,
I hope someday,
I am able to let you go.

Just one,
If you already belong to someone,
Before this 5 years ends,
If only,
I hope I can forget you at that time,
While during the time that I going to forget you,
Dont appear at those moment,
Maybe I could waver for you once again.

4 May 2014