Monday, 6 April 2015

6 April 2015

Hai. Apa khabar pembaca blogku ini? (aisehmen, betrip lagi bah si amal ni. hahaha)

     Lama dah aku tak kemaskinikan blog Roda Coklat ni. Sibuk dengan semester 4 ni adalah salah satu dari puncanya dan idea yang aku nak tulis pun kebanyakkannya pasal luahan hati yang entah, boleh dipublish ke tak. Sebab aku rasa macam nak mention real name ja supaya orang tu tahu yang aku tujukan post tu untuknya. Namun, alhamdulillah, aku masih waras dan behave, kalau tak memang tak tahu lah mana nak letak muka aku ni kalau aku betul betul buat post-post luahan hati sebelum ini. Hahaha

     Sekarang ni, hari ke-tiga dalam cuti pertengahan semester buat Universiti Malaysia Perlis (UniMAP) dan aku hanya duduk lepak dalam bilik yang ala-ala sauna. It's summer time.  Bahang bruh. hahaha.

"Duduk, lepak jer? takdak assignment ke amal oiii?"
- some of you might wonder that. 

or this

" Punya berlambak kerja nak due date lepas cuti ni, amal ni boleh pulak dia duduk lepak ja masa cuti ni?
- this thought might from my classmates because actually, we got a lot of things to do  which need to submit after this mid semester holiday ends.

Well, during these three days, I was more like trying to fix my life, you know. I looking for some motivation and doing some self -reflection which I think still have long way to go. Even though I aware that I should start doing preparation for all my subjects. Since, I think I messed up my Thermodynamics, Fluid Mechanics, and Engineering Mathematics III mid term test. This semester is pretty though! Dealing with subject that mostly 95% calculation really knock me down, because surely formula and calculation are just not my comfort zone to play with.

Not knowing anything really suck! My stupidity slowly kills me inside. And thats when I just keep silent in class, staring on the white board or lecturer's PowerPoint presentation. 
  • Some lecturer's style of teaching are just to fast for me, until I always left behind.
  • Some lecturer's style of teaching are like puzzle, they gave a starter, but they want us to finish until the end which way that I can't reach the end of the question.
  • and other problems which also come from me...
I don't think I have the capability to learn faster in subject that have calculation and formula. And I think its spread to other subject too. But what's now? I already choose this programme RK84- Product Design Engineering. Until one day, I post this on my Facebook.

The difficulty being a product design engineering student reminds me about the offer that I received when I applied to higher eduction after my SPM. I got TESL, Graphic design, and other course too. But yeahh all of them are located at Semenanjung which I know, I will not get the chance to take that offer. At that time, I was so obsessed with Politeknik Kota Kinabalu, one reason of my obsession is about the Taekwondo, since I still active joining the taekwondo competition. hehehe. Ok, that so old story. So, what's next mal?

Have you ever felt that, you want to be the most intelligent person that can study on your own so that you don't have to beg for someone to teach you which any means getting no help from other people? I felt this several time. I envy those who clever enough to study on their own.. How they do it  and become successful pass in their exam? How they study? Everything is 'how?'. 
  • I want to be successful like them.
  • I want my pointer above 3.
  • I want everything that I want.
hahaha. ok behave mal. One of my friends, told me, 'kena rajin', so I should be hardworking right? hm. My girl friends always say ' Kak Mal boleh! kak Mal boleh!' to me. Thanks to my close classmate and my housemate. Saying motivation words to someone who already knockdown like me, is like giving hope by watering the almost dead flower. May Allah bless us all. Aamiin.