Tuesday, 22 July 2014

My Plain Holiday (Up until 23 July 2014)

My Sleeping Habit
As my sleeping habit is changed since my final exam ended on 14 June 2014, there was sometime I tried to change it back to normal but I guess I should work up my body to be completely exhausted and then sleep at night like everybody do. But, I don't feel to do workout because I still sweating even I was sitting without fan. So, I am awake at night then goes to sleep at 8 am up until to 1 pm and almost up to 4 pm and 5 pm. I know that is makruh to be sleeping all day long. Then, I make some change, I'll sleep at 11 am or 1 pm and wake up around 5 or 6 pm. 

My Activities In My Holiday?
→ Watching Running Man
During my study week, I tend to watch some running man episode to cheer me up because at that time I was really have no mood to study. Actually, I start to watch it a week before to study week, it was a few days before the mini project presentation. I was really not in the mood, it was because of my mini project presentation and all of it. I was relief that I gained the courage to continue the abandoned project and present my presentation to the end. So, maybe I was used to watch running man for a few weeks then I kept that habit up today. But then, I noticed that I lose a large percent of interest in Running Man recently. I realized that, I become not so interested watching it if Haha part was edited out or he has limited appearance on the show. 

→Other Korea Reality Tv Show
Losing some interest on Running Man doesn't mean that I lose interest completely on Korea reality tv show. Recently, I watched Happy Together, Law Of The Jungle, Roommate and Hello Counselor on television. Meanwhile, I also watching Gag Concert on the youtube. I think that I'm more to Roommate, well not too much, I just watched it's episode 1 and 2 through the youtube. I don't know what Roommate aired recently on the television, but I decided to watch them from the first episode. That would be much better to follow their story from the beginning. Up until episode 2 of Roomate, I think I like Park Min woo appearance and Park Chan-yeol voice of talking. I'm not a fan of Lee Dong-Wook, but watching him in the episode 2, I feel something interesting about him. I guess I'll may turn to be attracted to him, I guess. 

→Cookies for Hari Raya
My second young sister, Puen, was very excited to bake variety of cookies and cakes for the Hari Raya. She doing research for recipes and including some videos of baking cookies even though my mother already research about the cookies that are going to be baked. I just let them be, I only help them by shaping the Dow into the specific shape. The first was 'Batang Buruk'. That's is my favorite cookies hehehe. Then 'Tart Nenas'. Followed up by 'Kuih Makmur'. Of course, I just help them by shaping the cookies, not more than that. It just my mother and my young sister that discussed about the ingredients, I will wait them to make the dow and them help out when the dow was finish. 

→My Result
21 July 2014, the day my exam result was announced. It's weird because I easily log in and checked my result while usually the line would be lagging. Yeah, as I predicted! The one and only. The first subject I failed. I should starting learn the subject in this holiday. I don't think I can but I will give it a try. I should try. yes, I should try my best. That was one subject, but then I saw the two subject that I thought I could get at least B or B-. It was really a disappointment. That one subject was really, entahlah. Maybe after this, I should done my assignment better and earlier, submit it to those lectures and ask them, what more need to edited so that they will give good grade for the efforts. My first carry subject. Hm..

→My Sketch Paper
Seems like I was out of idea. I'm being too picky on deciding what object to draw. Limiting my self on my own. Apart from that, I might go out to Pekan Kota Belud to buy some A4 (80gsm) rim paper.

→Someone In Mind (S.I.M)
Lately, I had download some song, most of them was Haha song and other English love song. He still appear on my mind while I listen to those song but not as much as like old days. Sometimes, I just enjoy the song as it's more to explain my self in the song. There are times that I want to write all about inside to him read them I barely stop doing that, as I really want to let him go properly this time. It because I already said the goodbye first so I shouldn't break it again and again. For now, I just thinking how I felt and react if suddenly I get his wedding invitation. Well, he is far away from me and I don't know how has he been. It possible that he meet someone else there, so do I, maybe I meet someone around me too. If that the case maybe, I came to his wedding and I just gonna be single to my old age if I don't have someone that I think could love and care to me as who I am. Kunun lah Hahaha.

→Addicted to Game
Kak Yui introduced this game to me years ago, if I not mistaken. Boomz. Before this, I was playing the Gaia, but sometimes, I felt kind of bored and don't know what to do, then I remember this game. It was fun, indeed. But I still don't understand the game properly, just know as a beginner.

→Several Thoughts
►It's Hari Raya coming up soon, but I don't have and place to visit. Some friends were not very familiar and some of them were very far need to drive but I'm not sure if I have the chance to use the motorcycle to go visiting them. If that the case, then this year will be just like last year. I will be just serving the foods and there is nothing to be expect will happen. Hm...Maybe I will just go out for a day, and taking some picture around the Kota Belud area. That's sounds fun.

►I saw him online. I might sound pathetic because I still expecting that he will send message and start the conversation first. I don't want to be the first one to send him message.  Hm, Ok stop right here. I think I just gonna empty 'this' out as I done before. Before he came and fulfilled it with those unforgettable memories. I might being a stranger to my self again, but I think I will accept that slowly. I'm not a broken heart person, it's just unrequited and one-sided love which I think is fading as the time goes by.  

► I need some guide to make a paper work, because I dreamed to held a Taekwon-do Tournament for our UniMAP Taekwon-do GTF club. I don't have enough experience handling a tournament or competition paper work. I heard that, it would be hard to get the budget approved. Hm, that quite unknown level of challenge. Should I do or not?



Thursday, 17 July 2014

The Dream of Short Journey

The Dream of Short Journey
I dreamed about someone. It's weird because I already knew that he belongs to someone, but at first in that dream, I never knew. I was so happy just to see and stay next to him along the short journey. I don't remember what we were talking about, but the conversation was smooth and just nice. I look out through the window, watching the blue sky, while he then drove quietly. Everything felt happen in just a second moment. We arrived, then his girl was waiting there. I just went out of the car. He came to his sweet waiting girl. He don't even say a word or take a look at me. I just watched them behind the car. Then, I realized that I was no one in his life. Just none.

It's true that I dreamed of someone that I know in my real life but in reality, my feeling for him isn't that way. He is the person that I liked and respect because of his charismatic of speech. That deep feeling should be on someone else, the one that I should be forgotten at the moment, but I don't have any idea that this person became in that character in my dream. 

I just felt that, this dream was an analogy of what happen in my life, not calculating who were the characters. It left the unseen pain and the bitterness inside me when my last view in the dream, watching them happy together for the far distance. Actually, I can relate something with that scene.I just let go them without trying to make them stay. I just don't think it's worth to be hurt because of holding on someone else.

But it doesn't bring so much different. . . 

I stop from being to much happy,
I left even I really want to stay,
I looked away even I want to see you all day long,
but at the end,
I'm still hurt inside.

Sunday, 13 July 2014

I Have No Intention of Removing Good Memories

" I have no intention of removing good memories."

" Someone who makes your heart flutter or someone familiar?"

I wonder why I still surrounded by those memories with you in them. It's already been 2 years for now. This the first time, I still hoping and waiting for someone since secondary school. I'm not trying to emphasize the first time, because honestly, I don't believe much in the 'First Time'. 

Do You Believe In First Time?

As for my life experience in Taekwondo, my first game of sparring, I experienced losing for the first time. However, that's not meant to be that I'm a loser in sparring forever. To be honest, I keep losing in sparring everything I joined sparring game until the coach, sir Murshidi, call me the expert in sparring because I kept join sparring event but never win even once. But later, with all the hard time in training and the kept losing feeling had thought me several ways and lead for some winning in tournaments. Alhamdulillah.

That's one reason, I don't rely much on First Time. The first person that I like, I don't remember the face enough but I like someone since I was in year 1 in primary school. That brother has almost the same name of mine. When my young friends addressed me in conversation or called me, it's sound similarly with that brother name. I guess I like him because he was very kind to me at that time.

When I was in year 2, I changed school. I met a boy, a year older than me. We were not that in relationship but maybe that just another scandal in primary school. I like and hate him at the same time. Kids, I really don't know why, we kept arguing each other but at the same time there were lot good memories too. It's that true that, when a person has feeling to the that person, they would spend a lot of time with that person, no matter what, including arguing to each other? I'm not sure either. 

Almost a step more for my future, we moved into a new house and I moved into a new religious school to take examination after four years in a village KAFA. There I wasn't nobody. I just playing games with everyone including my siblings but I have no friends to be hang out together. I lost my best friends at KAFA and became new student at new religious school. Since I don't have any close friends, I dont care much for other kids and used to play only with my siblings. One day, while waiting for my mother to pick up us after the religious school end, my brother and I was playing at the playground. Some kids came to us and starting to messing up with us. Then, someone came and he was trying to stop them from bulling us. That boy from what I know, he was a very quiet kid. I just know his name but never talk to him. Since that day, I starting to notice him everyday when I came to school. There was a day, I don't remember it clearly, but he got into trouble and didn't get into class. At the end of school, I saw him at distant. That was just a story in primary school, I thought I like him. Who knows? I get into my favorite school at SMK Pekan but I end up being in SMKA Tun Said because of my parents want me to continue my school there. Guess what, the first classmate that I met near the stair up to my class was him! That was a relief I thought. Being in a new class with someone that I knew and the most unexpected that I was in the class with my crush. But, all things doesn't happen in the way I thought. I remember my first tear-drop of jealousy and disappointment because my crush was being someone else which that girl was one of my friends. I can't do anything, I just cried for a moments then I decided to forget him no matter what. Once, a friend of mine ask me to send her regards for him because she kind of interested in him. Luckily, I was almost don't feel anything more for him. I just assumed him as only one of my friends. However, while we was in form 3, something was happen, and I hate him so much after that. I don't know either if that was his doing or someone sabotage him, but I was so immature during that period of time. Then, there was a time that some students were gathered because they got caught for not being able to obey the hostel's rules, including him and I. Everyone were told to line up and count numbers. The ustaz fined us to stand up and telling what we were sorry for, kinda repenting ourselves, started with the boys, I noticed that he was the 39th person. The person was chosen randomly, I was like praying so the ustaz would call out the number 39. And it's happen, he got called to the front and give repenting speech. I felt my hating heart for him was vanished away after that. So, still he just only a friend after that.

However, since the day I cried because of that, I'm being more frigid and rude to those boys who mess up with me. I thought I became to hate boy, but then I saw a senior during the Friday assembly. He was the mc in-charge of the day. He was a form 5 Technique student. It just happen to me to admire him. There was a moment, I was him in the dinning hall, near to the water cooler, wearing black color of baju melayu, he was very cool boy. Since that, I like to see someone who wear black baju melayu. Then, I came to hear that he got admires and adopt sister too. I was like, "what?! huh!". I decided to forget him and because I will not see him anymore after his spm. That was my very short period of time to like a person, he passed the SPM, the last time I saw him when he joined a Marhaban group in a competition at our school and the last news I heard of him, he is already married last year. I'm happy for you, bro.

When I was in form 3, I felt so empty inside. Every person that I liked so far, were belong to someone else. That just make me uninterested and give up. Suddenly, one day, I thought an idea. 
"Love. Is love can be develop by learning to love someone? Can I learn to love someone?"
At the evening, I would sitting at the corridor of our hostel, watching boys went for their tea break. Then, I saw this senior. Again, a senior. Before that, I thought he was nobody, because he is not that handsome and I never heard of him before. So, I started my foolish learning to love someone mission. I don't know when but then I noticed that I was really falling for this guy. The moment I realized it when I was giving my explanation to my friends in front of the class. I was in form 4 Technique at that time. I saw him walking at the next building, I just very happy to look at him until he disappear from my sight until my friends shouting call my name. Then, I was got into his Rumah Sukan since every form 4 student need to change their rumah sukan. He was one of the ace of the rumah sukan. When everybody in the team was cheering, I just can't do the cheering. I can't say his name that loudly. All I doing was, hoping he wins all the game successfully. Once, I was doing the gotong royong with my classmate at the third building. He was walking passing us with his members. I saw him at the distant, then I was stunned. After they were gone, I jumped excitedly and smile brightly because I haven't seen him for the whole day. I became more energized so I decided to sweep the drains around the building with the unstoppable joy and smile on my face. I was so focused in what I was doing, sweeping until the last corner of the drain before coming back to the start point, suddenly I realized there was a group of boy student were sitting on the red table near to that place. I almost felt a snow wind on my face, he was there!! with his friends.. Thinking about my reaction I made before, I speechless!!! Then, after that, I heard some stories. The same reason. He got some admires and he was interested in someone that I know. One day, our school joined a competition, so a group of student went there, he was one of them. On their way back to our school, their bus got into accident, several students got injured. I was shocked, then I went back to our dorm. I saw a senior, which his classmate was crying after heard about the news. I don't know why, I don't cry. Am I really like him or not? Days goes by, one day, the senior shared story with me about him. I don't remember what the stories contents but it did changed my mine. So, here I goes again, try to forget the person that I learned to like a lot. 

I met a boy during the time I was waiting for my admission to politeknik kota kinabalu. I join a team to a big tournament for Sabah as that would be pre-selection for sukma, I guess so. I guess because our names sound similar to each other, the hyungs and unnie start to tease us. A unnie which also my friend, had introduced us in very unique way. I lend her my hand phone because she told me that she want to send message to someone. I didn't thinking that strange, so I lend her. Then suddenly, she returned my hand phone and told me that she was setting me up with the boy. I was totally in shocked! I gained the courage to tell the boy that, I wasn't the one who sending those message, hoping that he wouldn't misunderstood me.  No wonder, why he saying greeting to me in very cheerful way while our team met in the dinning hall. I felt very awkward because I don't very close to boys and I don't know how to treat them as friends, because most of the time, I used to be rude with boys, fighting to be exact. After, I told him that, I try to avoid him as much as I can. 12 June 2009, our team met at the kompleks sukan sandakan, spending time with watching the booth that selling foods and other activities there while waiting for the closing ceremony, if I not mistaken. I was watching some activities at the court area, suddenly unnie called me and asked me to go for a walk with the boy around the booths area. I refused but the unnie insisted. I walked slowly and quietly behind him, for me, walking together is very awkward even we were in crowded places. He turned to me and asked me to walk side by side with him. I refused again.  I told him to walk in front so I know where I need to go, but then he told me, if I kept walking at behind him, I'll missing. I just sigh and step ahead next to him. He was walking on my right side. We were walking together but bare speaking to each other. I guess he felt awkward too. Maybe that's why he keep looking at his phone while we're walking. I look at him while we're walking, he just doing something with his phone without notice that I was looking at him. At that moment, I get the feeling that I should never disturb people who keep using their phone. My heart judged fast; "Using phone while having someone by your side means that person is not important to you". For thinking that way, I feel more calm, because I means nothing to him anyway, seems that phone is more important. I started to feel more relaxed. Then, we were passing a horizontal wire that flew the electricity for those booth lamps, I was about to warned him because he would hooked up that wire, but yeah, he almost get hooked of it. He dodged it I just laughed. He treated me some foods then, I don't know why I came up with the idea. I told him that, if he gonna buy me some foods, he should do the same for the other members too, actually I already full at the moment. I thought he wouldn't dare, but he paid all of it. That made me felt terrible, I very sorry to him. At the end, I paid him back and we never keep in touch after that. The second time I met him at the other day or tournament, he already have someone by his side. Be happy bro. :D

I got into poly in July 2009, I saw one of my senior department was similar to that boy. Hahaha, what a coincidence. I think, it's a little bit late while I was in poly. I met this senior in taekwondo club. The first time, I saw him at the taekwondo tournament while I was in secondary school. I love the way he perform his pattern. Far from love, I more to like him as a senior in taekwondo. When I always perform my pattern, I tried to copied him. I love to see people who are very focus in their work. At my first semester break, everyone would already in holiday mood, but us were still at Polikk, in intensive training. When, we were represented as Polikk taekwondo team, the pressure was unbelievable. I was assigned to take part in sparring, I told the coach that I can't do the sparring because I don't know much in sparring. The senior, who was sitting in front of me, turned to me and said "Boleh tuh, belajar.". At the Polisas, we still keep our training. There was a moment, we were told to do some warming up at the taekwondo ring. While doing the forwarding target, I couldn't defend very well and fell down onto the mattress. I sighed and look down to the mattress. Suddenly, someone stood in front of me, offering his right hand to me. I felt like just in the drama, I look at his hand then up to his face. Slowly, I reached his hands and get up with a bit fluttering heart. During my final game, he was standing there. I was so exhausted, angry with the referee, and feeling give up. Then, there he goes, keep shouting that I need to keep lifting my legs up to the opponent target. As I win the final game, I felt was so happy untill I want to jump high and hug them all. Then, he just a taekwondo senior that I like because of his passion in taekwondo.

I think I spent all my commitment to my RP club starting I got into semester 3. I don't have so much time to think someone to love during my busy semester. I, once almost falling hard of one of senior in the club. It happens when we were coming back from Salut Kelapa Bakar. I as always, want to walk alone by myself while watching the neon's light on the evening road, but still with a close distance with the other member. Suddenly, the senior approach me. Asking about me, about my family, and give me advice on how I should treat my family even we were in a distance. That was very unexpected. At some point, I nearly tell him that I like him. Wah, luckily, I didn't. Hahaha. Thank goodness.

Then, up to my most critical semester in poli. My practical semester, semester 4. At Monday until Friday, I goes to work as a trainer, while on Teusday and Thursday's night were my Taekwondo training, and Friday's nights until Sunday's evening were my Silat Olahraga training for my last saga tournament. Its wasn't that hard at first, but it's started when I messed up with one of my practical friends. Even, sitting below the air conditioner felt hot and suffocating. I was so stress because the unsettle matter, until I asked my sifu as I trust him as a sifu, 'what I need to do to be an emotionless person?'. At that time, I assumed emotion is the only thing makes me weak. Later that, I met someone who is much younger than me. So much younger. His nickname was similar to one of my practical friends name. He almost similar to the singer K. Will and Daesung BigBang. So, five days I facing my hateful friends then two days for my loving friends. That was very complicated. However, everything is in the past. That hateful friend become my friend again and that loving person is just a person I knew from the past. I need to forget everything about him because of the gap age. Be friends like that loving friends reminds me about my primary school friends. Once during the practical semester, I was going out to Indah Permai because I saw the loving friend request on my hp fb. I went to the cyber cafe at Indah Permai, just to approve that loving friend request. (Hm, how immature am I kan, but that who I was.). 

While I was online, I got a text message from the Be Happy boy. Asking me to join them to go salut kelapa bakar together with the other member. Then, I just agreed to join them. I just notice something strange about me. Usually I don't bother to join any member if I already have something to do especially about feeling matters. Entering the new semester, was the opening new entry to my life either. Holding a position kept me struggling with myself everyday. I realized I don't have many friends to hang out. I was expecting that will happen to me the moment I accept the  position, I prepared and kept my heart guard high. So, no one could touch or hurt my feeling inside. I live with my confidence to face the day bravely, everyday I thought I achieved it but slowly the gloomy cloud, raining  me wet inside. Then, someone came with a bright smile and a fan at his hand. Time by time, he shine brightly as sun, vanished away my cloudy gloom. There was a moment, he asked me to take care his matrix card for him. Carelessly, I wore it as mine. Then he asked why I did that, "Kenapa?", I flustered, don't know to answer him in words, but my heart already answer it, " It's because I want you stay next to mine.". There was a program, at distance I saw him sitting next to the stair of the hut. I want to ask how's is he. Is he okay? Is he cold? Is he sleeping? Is he comfortable sitting there? But, I just walk pass him without looking at him because I was nervous with all the question inside my head. Then, at dawn, I was laying comfortably at the bench after sleeping below the bench when I heard his voice waking me up. I'm half awake, but I'm sure that was him, I felt embarrassed and pretend to be sleeping still. We were gonna playing a game, so everyone have to choose their own members. I end up being a team with some of my friends, but I was being so sensitive at that time. I vent my anger to him which he was the ajk for the game ( I wasn't intent to full out them all on him, but I don't know why I did that either.) So, we were playing, in a slight of time we loss in the game, I was sitting on the sand, he came to us with a smile on his face, I asked why he coming to us, then he told us that he will be joining the team. Ah, unfortunately, game over. There was a time that, we were late for the dinner, he stood waiting for us near to the bus. With that suit on him, I almost got blew away. However, that's all in the past. I messed up everything because of my bad temper.  I shouldn't played that game. I should told him to stop being nice to me because that might make me fall for him, I shouldn't joined them, I shouldn't let my guard down for him, I shouldn't thinking of him, I shouldn't be smile or laugh at his jokes or stories, I shouldn't feel happy when I with him. Ah~ I shouldn't.

I know him quite a while, but years back then, he just friend that I know. The third year in poly, since I messed up with one of my close friends in class, I can't hang out and be a group assignment with them as usually. I became a little bit closer to this friend. I still judged him for his last assignment commitment, it was the mathematical engineering assignment. I told him to be careful, but at the end, I was the one who making the mistake. But he just go cool with it. I really weak in calculation, even during mathematic engineering class, I a little bit slow to follow up the steps. There was a time, I sat next to him during the math class and I don't understand the steps. I don't want to bother the other focus by asking them, so I just stared my book and slightly look at the others who study so well. Suddenly, he turned to me and asked which part that I don't understand. Other than that, it was a busy day for our club because of the event preparation, I got a text message, it was from him, asking if I want to buy bugger. I agreed to buy them because I was hungry but there were a bunch of work that need to be done. Settle things up, we pack up to go back home, the he offer to make the delivery. That's make me uneasy, I speed up my steps, as soon as I arrived, he just give me the bugger without taking my money, what was that? I am a little bit confused here, please. But that just for a moment, then I forget it. The last remember moment about him, it was preparation for the final project exhibition. I was in-charge in the decoration. I took 2 curtain for the information board however it's were untangled. I saw him and one of my friends. Since I get used to talk with them, I asked them the favor to untangled those curtain. They done with the curtain, so I thanked them for the hard work. But then, next problem comes up, I got trouble while hanging up the curtain to be stapled, then he came out from nowhere asking if I need any help. I almost got into tears that loh bro. He is that unique friend. It was holiday if I was not mistaken, suddenly he called me and shared what he was doing at the moment; having a trip with some of his friends, I guess he was too happy and he want to share them with his friends. I don't know how to respond with that since that was the first time that my friend call just to share his moment, so I just go, "Oh, best lah?" kind of reaction..


Friday, 11 July 2014

My Sketch Paper 007

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful


Recently, my back was in pain because I sat and tend to bend my body while facing my laptop. So, I started drawing some chair. A few moment later, I notice that, in Emergency Couple drama, there was a scene when Oh Jin Hee meeting her father-in-law at a cafe ( I guess ). They were sitting on the chair, I don't know what the call it but for now I call it Korean Chair. That because they were sitting cross-legged on top of cushion chair which the chair has no stand at all. 

(I'm not quite sure, if you understand my English, sorry about that).

Some of the design, I making a scene when I want to lay on a sofa with watching my favorite tv show. I guess, I just design them without thinking how they will going to be fabricated. Simple careless design, but I will put that aside later, for now, just focusing on how I draw the object. 

If I tried design them once with all the manufacturing process, 
I might not done a sketch at all. So, be chill Ms. Haha.

My Sketch Paper 006

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful

Complex Round

Based on youtube video 'Sketching tutorial How to draw complex round' by idcreatures, 
I refer to the video tutorial to draw this. 
At first, it quite confusing, so I keep shading the wrong part.
Then my second trial was a bit accurate but still I almost shade the wrong part and it took a lot of time to follow the tutor steps.

Complex Round

The second drawing is about cylinder shape. 
The first one looks fine but I drew the second cylinder without looking the video as I try to make sure I grabbed her tactics well. 
*please ignore the cylinder shading. hehehe

The third drawing is about cone. Again, the first trial is failed. 
I repeated the video several time, to get this one right same like the first drawing for the shading.

In the video, she (the tutor) used sharpie to bold the sketching line.
I found it awesome. I think I would get some of them, soon. hehehe

My Sketch Paper 005

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful

Simple Round

I drew this based on a youtube video tutorial. 'Sketching tutorial How to draw simple rounds' by idcreatures. In AutoCad software, this might called as fillet. I had tried this while using Autodesk Inventer, the effect was awesome. Doing fillet after extruded the object, that was new for me while studying at poly. That was done using computer, so how about freehand. Yeah, need more practice ok, Ms. Haha.

Simple round / Fillet
That messy one, I was trying to do some shading or shadow. Seems, it wasn't a success. Other than that, I'm doing some hatching which I assume it as it having a cross section or the flat surface of the object. 

Hm, maybe I should starting doing some shading? ah, maybe later lah kali.

My Sketch Paper 004

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful

Square in Perspective

I was trying to make a good pose for every square and rectangle, but this only I can do. From what I learn from the past there are 2 type of view; bird view and worm view. 

  • Bird View is a view from the top of the object.
  • Worm view is a view from below of the object.

It would be drew in more organised view, but for now, I just make this in simple form. Perspective drawing is a topic that I learn in engineering drawing, not quite sure whether in form 4 or form 5. But it doesn't matter because all of it are tested for the SPM examination.

While in product design, we were given three objects that located at the center of the class which need to be drew from our perspective. So, that would be advance step of drawing based on perspective. For the first start in learning perspective, it is better drawing using by a set of ruler. 

Start from basic. For more info, do some research about it, by simply type 'drawing perspective for beginners' on youtube. That would be a good start. I'm still learning about it because I find it difficult to draw object in perspective by freehand instead of using sets of ruler.

I got so much need to be learn. . .

Thursday, 10 July 2014

My Sketch Paper 003

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful


     I was trying to applied the straight line and the circle into other concept of drawing. Then, I found about pattern. In order to achieve my objective to apply it into pattern, I research more info about pattern through youtube and google image. There are many awesome video showing tutorial about pattern, then I swayed into some doodle videos. Very talented people! Ok.

     Ah! The numbers were edited by using photoscape, I don't even that creative to draw that. Ok, Some of those pattern got wrong start (far away from the tutorial in the videos) but luckily I saved them. Hahaha. No lah, as one of the tutor said, the is no mistake in pattern, you can always adjust and draw variety of pattern. So, with that tips I barely saved those pattern before I stop drawing and throw them into dustbin. Joke. Ok, it's not funny enough.

Want to guess which of them that I talked about?

I will tell you at the end of this post. :D

20 Type of pattern

     I drew this on Saturday night 5 July untill Sunday early in the morning 6 July 2014. It was because my sleep routine had changed after my final exam ended. While staying at Wang Ulu residential college before I came back to Sabah, I used to stay up all night watching korean drama and running man, then I sleep at 8 am or 9 am untill 1 pm or 3 pm. Then automatically, I sleep during the day and stay awake at night untill 7am or 8 am. I tried to change it by not to sleep until afternoon, then my head feel heavy and I felt like empty, my sight become fuzzy. Then, I tried to sleep at 2 am or 3 am, I was laying with closed eyes, but I can't sleep. So, i decided to do this.(How's my story? hahahaha)

Still guessing? 

Or you alreadly saw the answer? 

Ok lah,

the answer are. . .

Number 5, 15, and 16.

My Sketch Paper 002

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful


I drew these circle because I am very weak in drawing object in circle shape or with a round surface. I already pictured the circle that I'm going to draw in my mind, with beautiful circle and tidy in a box, but yeah, this is the reality. 

Some of the circle was made with a rushing mind and I notice that the habit of me, trying to keep calm and make a beautiful circle again.

Maybe you who seeing this picture can predict which part of circle that I done in rushing mind.

Equipment used:

  • Pen (Ball pen 0.7)
  • A4 Paper


Well, I don't remember which one actually. 
You did the guessing? 
ah, sorry.. 
but thanks because your effort.
Have a nice day, :D

My Sketch Paper 001

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful

Straight Line

Our first lesson in Product Design course thought by Mr. Badrul was drawing straight line. 

What? Seriously sir? Straight line only? Ah~ piece of cake (easy), I thought that was an easy task. 

At first he allowed us to do several square or rectangle using rules. Then starting to draw the straight line. After we done the first page, he asked us to do the same straight line but this time without the square or rectangular guide. We need to draw the straight line at the same time make sure it form a square or rectangular shape. He added rules, No eraser, Draw the straight line in One-go. 

Then, my first try was not that great enough. T_T

Equipment needed:
  • Pen or pencil
    • It is up to you, to use any kind of pen or pencil. I'm not including any tips about the line thickness in this post because I also not quite sure the exactly type of them. Just a bit of knowledge, enough for my own drawing.
  • A4 Paper
    • Normally, a white blank paper. Using such examination pad won't do because I might get distracted with the line on the paper.
  • Ruler
    • I might used a ruler to draw the square or rectangle as a guide for drawing the straight line in a tidy box shape.
  • Eraser
    • As this for my own practice, I may used eraser to erase some part that I spoiled, but since I used pen, that wouldn't do, right? hehe

Pattern of straight line
The picture above was drew by me on 4 July 2014. As you can see, some of them are not straight enough to be call straight line. But as I doing this, several thought appear at the moment:
  • Imagine I was drawing a product thickness or shape.
  • It is all right if I fail to draw straight line for the first time, later on, I can compare how much I had improved.
  • Never be afraid to use any tactics to produce a straight line such as:
    • Set the right angle for my hands while drawing.
    • Rotate the paper while drawing some angle of straight line.
    • and other. . . 
  • I must focus while drawing the straight line.
    • There was a moment, I lost my focus while drawing these straight line, then I notice it affect the line straightness.

Our lecturer keep saying that everyone can draw. They only need to practice. They need to get to used with imagine the object, send the signal from the brain to the hand, then the hand would produce it based on the signal given by the brain. 

So, keep learning and practice Ms. Haha... Hwaiting.

My Sketch Paper (Intro)

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I guess this would be the introduction for my own mini project. 
Yes, my own mini project fro myself. (Just full of myself only)*sigh~


     Drawing. My father and my mother were used to draw and paint something related to scenery, animal, and flowers when I was young. I thought I was also has the same skill as them, so I tried some painting but unexpectedly I was not that great. So, I think I can't draw anything. 

     However, as I was in form 3 at SMK(A) Tun Said, I got interested in Engineering Drawing. That when I was affected by my two senior roommates as they always stayed up in front of the door for the corridor light near to my bed. So, I look at them doing their technical drawing so diligently until I fell asleep. As I got into the technical science class, Lukisan Kejuruteraan (LK) = Engineering Drawing has become my most favorite subject. Even though, my first result for LK was 22, for the first time I don't want to give up in learning and I felt being challenged to score the subject because of my LK's teacher, Cikgu Sahrul, said that he encouraged female student to drop the LK and took Teknologi Kejuruteraan (TK) instead because of the school changed the limit subject to be taken for SPM to 12 subject only. So, from 13 subject, we need to drop 1 subject, as for the technical science student. I understand why cikgu Sahrul did that because most of female student couldn't catch up with the learning progress and that might affect their SPM result. It's far more different with the male student, they were just fine with it. At that time, I set my mindset to be a Lukisan Kejuruteraan's teacher. With that mindset, my leisure time was filled by practicing drawing technical drawing at the hostel. Even with the repetition of practice, I still got problem with tangent, I guess that my weak point in engineering drawing. At the end, I got A1 for my LK subject. Yes, only that one A of my two A. But, I feel good enough with the result. 

     In order to pursue my dream to be an engineering drawing teacher, I filled my first choice in politeknik application with Diploma Kejuruteraan Awam, and second was Diploma Teknologi Pembuatan (I refer my LK's teacher academic background). I don't have anyone that I can ask about making my choice, well actually if I was being wise, I should ask my teacher himself about the diploma that I was going to chose. My teachers who took Diploma Teknologi Pembuatan were cikgu Sahrul and cikgu Norwati. However, I was afraid and I was not that friendly to any teacher. I just go with the choice with doing any research ( I was only 16 years old at 2009! ah, excuses! hehehe). The result came out, I got Diploma Teknologi Pembuatan ( Mechanical). There was only a few subject that related to drawing as I remember during my 3 years as DTP student. Those subject was Autocad 2004 and Tool Design. Apart from those, I felt loss my way to be a LK's teacher. A day in my semester 5 at Politeknik Kota Kinabalu, I was so frust and as I remember that was my very bad day. I started to think if DTP was a good choice for me. All the subject at that semester was killer subjects. Theory and Calculation that I can't catch up during classes. 

     I was walking alone at the walkway near to the Dewan Serbaguna during the evening. I really need someone to talk at that time. I search my friends number through my phone, and I end up calling my RP's discipline chief. He not even my close friends and was a serious and sarcastic person, well, almost of the time. Then we always fighting with each other but sometimes we were just fine working together, and he and I were in Taekwondo club together. He already graduated from poly and was working at that time. I don't know why I called and trusted him to tell my misery thought, maybe because I already been working with him in the RP club made me easier to approach him. Unexpectedly, he doesn't seems like the person that I been working during those past semester, he gave me a good advice and since that I building up myself again to brave enough to face the semester challenge. That was a story when I was swayed out due to the hard challenge being a DTP student at politeknik kk.  Alhamdulillah, I passed my diploma.

     As I told before, there were only a few subject that can relate me to drawing or design. I work as a supermarket cashier for a year and a half before my application for upu degree was announced. Being a Diploma Teknologi Pembuatan's student, I am being too far way for any drawing or sketching matter. I had been through the unknown diploma world, as for degree, I being a little bit more specific. Doing some research about the degree that I'm going to chose. I choose product design degree  because after all, it's in manufacturing course also. My father insisted me to choose educational degree or stay with the manufacturing degree course. At that time, upu doesn't offer many educational degree program related to manufacturing, so I don't have many choice. At the end, I got offer at UniMAP, with the product design degree. I felt like I was coming back on the right line track.

     How it's been a product design engineering student? Well, I just passed my first year as a student after leaving the student world for a year and a half. A half of the year, I faced my weakness in calculation again. I took the Engineering Drawing subject, as I want to relearn all the things that I have been forgotten. I admit that, I lost memory all about study, so I felt like I never learn some of them, while some of them I did learned but I only had very poor memory, and some of them were just VERY NEW to me. Going through the first semester, I met this subject, Product Design. Now we talking about my main reason of my mini project " My Sketch Paper". This subject, requires student to sketch design by freehand. Again, facing my old chillhood weakness. I can draw technical drawing more confident with rules and T-square, but NOT freehand. The Product Design subject's lecture are Mr. Badrul and Mr. Bakri.

     We were given sketchbook, sketchpad, and other stationary that function to help in sketching, drawing, and painting. The sketchbook and sketchpad would be submitted at the end of the semester for our assessment mark. Luckily, there is no final exam for this subject. All we need is sketching and sketching. Oh ya, not to forget, a mini project with the clock theme. That part, hmmm, aaaa, if I have time, I will write a post about it, or maybe not. Depends lah. 

So ok lah. Ok lah, looks like some part of this introduction is out of the plan 
but I'll let it be as it is. So let's begin. . . . 

********** * * * * * * * -------- * * * * * * * **********

Foolish grammatical errors? Feel free to comment. (^^,)

Tuesday, 8 July 2014

My Plain Holiday

It's holiday, meet less people than before, spending time mostly with sleeping and stay at home, watching movies + drama + reality tv show, that routine tastes plain life, a bit more peaceful, calm zone. Sometimes, i can count how may words I speak for a day, except for writing something. If someone ask about my holiday, at the moment, I would say, its cool. It's life. Anything could make you happy, calm, laugh, sad, angry, stress, lazy, in so much different ways. 

Once my mom told me, 

" Amal, (please) move around, otherwise you'll have a high blood pressure!!!"

Seems like I have different definition of holiday at this moment. I prefer just sitting facing my laptop with doing some frivolous stuff on my youngest sister's table rather than sweating moving around. pffttt~~~

Just Plain

Holiday! oh my Holiday.

Thursday, 3 July 2014

Ganti Kelas Melalui Rakaman Video, Pendapat saya.

Pagi-pagi mengelamun.

Teringat sebabak dua situasi di U. Ada seorang pensyarah aku ini, beliau menggunakan evolusi kecanggihan teknologi dalam media sosial sebagai salah satu contoh untuk menerangkan konsep yang sedang kami pelajari ketika itu. Meringkaskan penerangan tersebut, beliau menganggarkan kaedah pembelajaran di masa hadapan, mungkin akan dilakukan hanya melalui media sosial tanpa memerlukan kehadiran pensyarah dan pelajar di kelas mahupun di dewan kuliah. 

Kaedah itu berkonsepkan rakaman video yang mungkin lebih mashyur digunakan oleh para-para remaja untuk membuat tutorial memakai shawl dan seumpamanya. Sejentik idea itu meresap dalam pemikiranku, kaedah itu sudahpun digunapakai dalam salah satu subjek yang aku galas semester 2 ini. 

Bagaimana? Kami membuat pembentangan mengenai tajuk tugasan tertentu dan ahli kumpulan merakamkan pembentangan itu secara bergilir-gilir. Ini kerana bilangan pelajar yang mencecah ratusan orang, menipiskan peluang untuk membuat pembentangan per sekumpulan secara langsung di dewan kuliah. Maka dengan itu, kaedah ini menjadi alternatif pensyarah untuk menilai pembentangan pelajarnya yang ramai.

Teori yang didedahkan serta aplikasi yang dipraktikkan dalam situasi yang berbeza membuat aku terfikir sesuatu. Antara perkara-perkara yang mengeratkan hubungan pelajar dan pensyarah ialah pada ketika mengatur waktu yang paling sesuai untuk ganti kelas yang perlu diganti dek kerana urusan yang tidak boleh dielakkan. Adakalanya perkara sebegini membuat kedua belah pihak tersepit dalam membuat keputusan yang dipersetujui ramai memandangkan setiap individu mempunyai masalah dan kekangan masa masing-masing.

Mungkin kaedah pembentangan melalui rakaman video boleh dipraktikkan untuk menggantikan masa yang perlu diganti itu. Mengajar dan bersyarah melalui rakaman video, ada kebaikan dan keburukkannya. Apa yang boleh aku fikirkan secara santai, keburukkannya, besar kemungkinan, 
1. Tidak semua pelajar berkemampuan/mahu untuk mengakses video tersebut. Pastinya memerlukan kemudahan internet, kan.
2. Tempoh yang lama untuk memuatnaik video tersebut ke portal mahupun laman youtube.
3. Komunikasi hanya berbentuk sehala sahaja (walaupun dalam dunia realiti pun sebahagiannya memang berbentuk sehala saja) dan beberapa banyak lagi keburukan yang boleh disenaraikan, andai itu yang ingin ditonjolkan betapa banyak kekurangan hasil perlaksanaan kaedah ini.

Sementara itu, ada beberapa kebaikan / kelebihan kaedah sebegini dalam konteks untuk mengganti kelas. 
1. Mudah dirujuk kembali terutamanya mengambil penerangan pensyarah yang tak terdapat di dalam 'slide' pembentangan.
Hahaha. Nampaknya, satu saja yang aku boleh fikirkan ketika ini. Tapi ya, masa seminggu sebelum peperiksaan, untuk subjek teori, aku lebih banyak mengingati sebabak dua situasi dalam kelas. Dan aku mula,
" ah, pensyarah tu ada cakap pasal ni, tapi lupa lah pula."
"Aku ingat yang kata kata kunci ini, tapi macamana nak buat ni?"
dan banyak lagi monolog diri yang keluar berkali-kali rasa macam refresh web otak saja. Rasa macam nak rakam semua sesi pembelajaran dalam kuliah untuk tengok balik. Salin nota masa kuliah, kadang rasa diri macam robot. Salin apa yang dilihat, selalunya ketinggalan untuk mendengar. 

Ada satu subjek ni, memang subjek aku paling lemah lah. Pantang terleka sekejap atau tidak salin nota, 90% lagu kehilangan oleh Firman berdesing di telinga. Aku biarkan di setiap kelas begitu. Dengan harapan, balik rumah aku belajar balik, tapi ternyata bila tengok nota yang aku salin membingungkan aku dua kali ganda. Akhirnya, ujian 1 aku menunjukkan betapa fahamnya aku dalam kelas. Keputusan ujian diterima diiringi dengan 2 pilihan. 'Drop' subjek atau ubah sikap. 

Aku pilih pilihan kedua. Dalam seminggu ada dua kelas, tapi kalau ditambah dengan bilangan kelas tapi berbeza kos. ada 4 kelas dalam seminggu. Kelas yang pertama, aku habiskan dengan menyalin nota selengkap-lengkapnya. Masuk ke kelas ku pada harinya, aku mendengar, melihat, dan setiap perubahan langkah dan nota yang telah aku salin, menambah sedikit coretan kecil agar aku lebih faham. Itu merupakan hari paling bahagia sejak aku masuk kelas tu, sebab aku faham. Malangnya, hari itu sahaja aku mampu buat begitu kerana nyata beberapa timbunan tugasan subjek lain semakin menghimpit masa tidur, emosi, dan fikiranku. Buat aku lupa nak berubah.

Kembali kepada topik(hahaha), secara peribadi, aku rasa mengganti kuliah melalui kaedah ini berbaloi untuk dipertimbangkan. Hanya untuk keadaan yang memerlukan penggantian kelas secara teori khususnya.

Satu perkara yang aku pasti, aku tak mahir dalam buat nota-mota ni. Baca buku, buat nota sambil rujuk buku, rasa macam mahu buat buku teks secara tulisan tangan. 

Apa pun, sekadar kenangan semester 2 yang melintas tiba-tiba di awal pagi ini, masa cuti semester pula tu. Pelik. Habis peperiksaan akhir memang bahagianya macam tak terkata, dah larut dalam hari-hari cuti semester ni, mula lah terfikir keputusan peperiksaan nanti macamana. Yang pasti, subjek yang satu tu, aku pasrah ja. 

p/s:Memandangkan post ini lebih tertumpu kepada kehidupan pelajar yang melibatkan warga pendidik tak kira cikgu sy sekolah rendah&menengah dan sebilangan rakan-rakan seperjuangan yang bakal/dah jadi cikgu, pensyarah poli dan universiti. kalau ada kata-kata mahupun sudut pandangan saya yang telah mengguris hati dan perasaan rakan2 fb yg membaca, mohon maaf zahir dan batin ya. 

The Dawn Memories

Sometimes, it's better remain being just friends. and maybe this is the time. 
You and I but never been Us. 
It just goes along the same way but never be one. 
Still giving myself a time to let go all the love-hate memories.
During the period of time, I tried step by step.
I was thinking the critical step, 
by blocking all the way that I could possible reach you.
Somehow, I afraid I will be more into you.

So if only, someday.
If I have the courage to do that,
You might not see me in your friend list anymore.
It's not that I hate you or something cruel like that.
I just want to stop everything that reminds me of you.
But I guess the memories wont fade away, 
so let that the only one remains with me.
Please don't misunderstand my action.
If we meet again which i think that is impossible,
There are so much things that I want to say to you,
to tell how precious you are to me
and those things that I think,
changed me after I met you.

I think I'm in your friend zone anyways,
I think I can be that kind of friend but after 5 years lah kot. XD
So, as a start being your just ordinary friend,
some advice from me,
Don't treat someone different from the others unless she really special to you,
She could be misunderstand by your action,
Don't be too caring or don't show it too much even you really care,
Don't let her fall for you if you didn't want to catch her.
Don't smile carelessly in front of people.
So that all,
maybe some from this 'friend'.
Just be happy, will ya?

The guy who tried wake me up during the dawn when I was sleeping on the bench.

Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Diary Seorang Rpeanz (Bab 3)

Petang itu, Song Ha Na menumpang bas shuttle ke Indah Permai. Tujuannya keluar semata-mata untuk melayari Facebook walaupun jelas di Perpustakaan Politeknik Kota Kinabalu itu ada wifi nya, namun adakala signal yang tak menentu buat Song Ha Na lebih telus dalam membuat keputusan untuk keluar sahaja.

Belum pun sempat menghabiskan satu jam di cyber cafe Indah Permai itu, nada dering 'Dan Sebenarnya' berbunyi menandakan ada sms masuk dalam telefon nokia 2730 classicnya. Nyata sms itu datang dari Kang Maru, ayat ringkas mengajaknya keluar ke Salut Kelapa Bakar. Hilang tumpuannya seketika berbalas sms, sedar saja, setuju untuk mengikuti rombongan rpeans ke Salut. Dalam perjalanan balik ke Politeknik KK, Song Ha Na singgah di Jabatan Kejuruteraan Mekanikal untuk solat Asar memandangkan waktu solat baru sahaja menjengah ke waktu Asar.

Hairan, tiada sekelibat rpeans yang muncul di perhentian bas, Song Ha Na mengatur langkah ke Cafe setelah Kang Maru memberitahu keberadaannya. Dalam perjalanan Song Ha Na ke Cafe, terlintas satu persoalan yang tak pernah terfikir pun.
"Kenapa aku macam ini? Tak pernah pun sorang yang buat aku balik awal ke poli kalau aku keluar. Kalau ada pun, aku akan biarkan saja, lagipun masing-masing ada tujuan yang nak dituju bukan? Kang Maru, siapa kau dalam hidup ini?"
Malas bergelut mencari jawapan bagi persoalannya, Song Ha Na lupakan saja persoalan itu sebaik sahaja tiba di pintu cafe. Kelihatan seseorang berbaju putih, duduk selang satu meja kebelakang dan berhadapan kaunter, dia Kang Maru. Song Ha Na duduk berhadapan sebelah kanan Kang Maru. Lelaki itu duduk, tunduk dan makan makanannya tanpa bersuara. Entah kenapa, Song Ha Na tidak mampu melontarkan soalan bertubi-tubi, berleter dengan suara yang nyaring seperti selalu. Dia hanya memandang lelaki di hadapan itu dengan pelbagai soalan yang didiamkan di dalam hati.

Tidak lama kemudian, kawan rapatnya datang ke cafe. Dari lagak bicara mereka, yakin lah Song Ha Na, lelaki itu merajuk. Aduhai. Comel. Kemudian, abang angkat Song Ha Na jua turut serta, kesemuanya empat orang. Rancang balik nak pi Salut selepas maghrib. Kang Maru masih tidak banyak memberi reaksi. Selesai solat maghrib di Pusat Islam PKK, Song Ha Na lewat keluar sedikit. Dari jauh lagi, wajah Kang Mari kembali ceria dengan senyumannya yang sememangnya ceria tu. Senyum juga budak ni, detik hati kecil Song Ha Na. Dia hanya mampu menarik nafas lega.

. . .