Sunday, 1 March 2015

1 March 2015

Little song plays around.
My heart starting to missing someone.
Oh! I'm confused.
Memories play back slowly.
I remember that one day.
He waited at distance while I was walked towards him.
Somehow, I steal a glance at him while he looked away.
He was near yet far to reach within my heart.

I was going to tell him about how I feel.
But sudden the cold shivering me inside out.
I gained the courage to tell him, but I didn't happen telling him.
A moment holding me back.
The black night.
I'm sitting alone quietly.
Thinking all over again and again.
The light fade from the sight.
As whispering to my waited heart, he is not the one for me.
No matter how long I waited for him.
No matter how many I changed for him.
No matter every moment I missed him
He is not belong to mine.
By keep telling myself that.
I tried to let him go off from my mind.
I tried to keep myself busy filling my life days.
I tried to distance myself from everything that would reminds me of him.
For some weeks and month in these few years, I did it.
But somehow the memories came visited several times but I think it's okay.
Those memories are a part of my life memories that I had spent for.
For some point, after these year passed.
I like him, is it because of him?
or because he cared for me?
or because the memories he made for me?
Yeah, I had been thinking about him a lot.
I don't think I like him because it is him.
That would be sad, I think.
I liked him because he made me happy.
So then, if one day, he made me sad,
I might end up hating him.
These thought trouble me a lot.
And I add this as another reason to forget him.
Yup, got find a million reason to forget about him for now.

Well, several thoughts passing my mind.
Instead of trying so hard to forget and let him go.
Why don't be with and love someone else?
That would be easy to forget all about him.
For a moment, I think that would be nice.
However, something is just feel not so right.
What would I feel if someone do the same on me.
I wouldn't like that either.
So, I ignored those stupid thoughts.

Several things happens lately,
Got married with someone that we love is nice.
But life doesn't always happen that way.
We might got married with one of our friends, cousins.
or even arranged marriage with someone else.
or someone that we never expected would be our life partner.
Yeah, life is unexpected.

Talking about life,
This year I will be 23 years old. Insya-Allah.
Well might as well look 32 years old from my appearance? hahaha
Age is something that can bothers me at times,
but most of the time, I prefer to ignore it. Much better feeling I guess.

To be continued when I got trouble mind...

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